Let Us Burn

F**ked Up

India

I've gotten so well with avoiding my problems and even that was becoming a problem. It was as if we were all avoiding each other. I've gone into panic mode since dinner with Scarlette and Rebecca a few weeks ago. Is it possible to regret something but not at the same time? That's how I was feeling right now. I still haven't approached Isaac about his actions that night and I'm avoiding running into Zayn. As for Scarlette, I couldn't avoid her if I wanted to. But, anytime we're together I find a reason to grab a drink or two or maybe more. I'm tired of lying, I'm tired of it all. But why can't I just come clean? It's a mystery in itself. And the worst part of it all, is I in a way feel something for Zayn. That's what got me freaking out. We fucked, like how can I feel more. He's not even capable of that kind of emotion. Trying to wait until summer ends to let it run its course isn't going as planned.

And how did I manage to avoid both Zayn and Issac? I don't know, but it just worked. Either I was out of the house early or back in too late. Scarlette hasn't talked to Isaac since I told her what happened and wanted to make sure I have a conversation with him first before she killed him and I'm not sure if Isaac and Zayn have worked out whatever it is that's going on which I'm sure I'm in the middle of that too. It's all too much.

I spent most of my days with Scarlette, sometimes when Rebecca tagged along. When I didn't want to feel like a third wheel, I ventured off on my own. I knew my way around L.A enough. We had time to shop for outfits for the company party next week and planned on a way out once our parents got too overbearing, which is more than likely to happen.

I woke up this morning, on a mission. Make breakfast, and go back to my room until it was time to go out later. Gosh, I sounded so childish. I walked into the kitchen around 6 am, but I wasn't alone. And before I could try to make my escape, Zayn popped his head from behind the fridge, shirtless.

"Good morning," he said, walking to the counter and uncapping a bottle of milk.

"Morning." I stood in the doorway, contemplating if I should make an awkward exit or just continue to do what I was going to do. Seeing him just reminded me of why I was trying to ignore him. Just being in his presence, lit something up in me. So, I decided to act normal and made a move for the fridge behind him as he continued making what looked like a shake.

There was an awkward silence as I maneuvered around him until he spoke. "Is it weird that we're in the same house but somehow I feel like.... I haven't seen you in weeks?" I turned around to his back to me. My eyes traced every ripple.

I couldn't admit that I was purposely avoiding running into him so I said, "Yeah, that's very weird."

He turned to face me. He leaned his arms back onto the counter as his eyes assessed me. I felt hot under his stare. It was as if he was trying to read me.

"You should come running with me." He finally said.

"Me.. go running?"

That made him laugh. "Yes," he said, standing up.

I stared at him to see if he was serious or not and when he wouldn't let up staring, I gave in. "Fine. Give me a second." I was out of the kitchen in no time to go and change.

Minutes later, we were jogging around the quiet neighborhood. The sun was beginning to rise but the heat wasn't that bad. As I tried to keep up his pace I realized that I was out of shape for sure. I don't remember the last time I went for a run. Zayn, on the other hand, looked like he was in his element. Swear beaded his skin as he jogged with ease. I on the other hand was trying to keep my breathing under wraps. It felt like we took a turn on every block we ran to.

"How far are we going?" I asked, barely keeping it together here.

He turned, a smile plastered on his face. God, that handsome face of his. He started jogging backward. "We're almost done." Then he faced forward and continued his pace. In what felt like forever, we came up to an entrance of a trail.