𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭

seventeen

Kaiden

The sun was already dipping low as Ethan and I found our usual spot on the bleachers near the outdoor basketball courts, the sounds of rubber soles against pavement and laughter filling the air around us.

Ethan stretched out his legs, leaning back with his arms behind him, looking completely relaxed.

"So," he started, looking at me with that familiar smirk, "you've been quiet. What's got you all spaced out?"

I hadn't said anything to anyone about what I'd seen during practice yesterday—especially not about Delphine.

It was something I couldn't shake, though, and Ethan knew me well enough to catch on when something was on my mind. I glanced down at my hands, not sure where to start, or if I even should.

"Ran into Delphine at the rink yesterday," I said finally, keeping my voice casual.

Ethan raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile already forming. "Delphine, huh? Was she... what? Skating? Making that scary face she always does?"

I shook my head, a half-smile creeping in despite myself. "No, it was... different. She was doing her usual thing, yeah, but it wasn't just that. She was going hard. Like, really hard. Coach was yelling at her nonstop in French—" I paused, the memory coming back vividly. "She didn't even flinch. Just kept going."

Ethan shrugged, looking unimpressed. "Isn't that her thing, though? She's intense, man. All those figure skaters are."

"Yeah, but I don't think you get it," I said, my voice a little sharper than I intended. "It's like she pushes herself to the point of breaking. She was practically collapsing by the end, barely able to stay on her feet."

Ethan glanced at me, his smirk fading as he caught the seriousness in my expression. "So, she was having a rough practice. It happens. You've had days like that too, right? Hell, we all do."

"Not like that," I said, shaking my head. "This was... different. After Coach was finally done with her, she went to the side of the rink and just... threw up."

Ethan's eyes widened, his smirk dropping completely. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. She was sick, but she still got back out there, still tried to skate after that." The memory hit me hard as I said it aloud; the way she'd stood back up, eyes focused and determined, almost like she hadn't just been pushing herself to the breaking point.

Ethan let out a low whistle, leaning forward. "Man, that's hardcore. I mean, we put in the work, sure, but I've never seen anything like that."

"Neither have I," I admitted, the words surprising me. I was used to people pushing themselves hard in hockey, going all out in practice, and even risking injuries to perform at their best. But there was something different about the way Delphine did it. She didn't just push herself; it was like she was punishing herself. "I don't get it. Why would someone go that far? I mean, there's dedication, and then there's... whatever that was."

Ethan nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. "Maybe it's different for her, you know? Figure skating's not like hockey. We've got the team—everyone's got each other's backs. But in her world, it's just her. If she screws up, there's no one to cover for her."

I glanced over at him, surprised. "Since when did you get all deep?"

He shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin. "I have my moments. But think about it—she's probably dealing with way more pressure than we are. We mess up, the team's still got us covered. She messes up? It's all on her."

The thought sat heavy between us. I hadn't really considered how different our worlds were, even though we trained in the same building, on the same ice. I'd always assumed the pressure I felt was intense, but maybe it was nothing compared to hers.

"It just got to me," I admitted finally, running a hand through my hair. "I mean, she looked like she was on the verge of breaking down, but she wouldn't let herself stop. It was... intense. I've never seen anyone that committed."

Ethan leaned back again, nodding slowly. "Makes you wonder why she does it, doesn't it? I mean, why put yourself through that if it's killing you?"

"Yeah," I said, staring out at the basketball court. "And it's not just the skating, either. There's this... wall she puts up. Like she's got something to prove. To who, though? Herself? Her coach?"

"Maybe she's just wired different," Ethan replied with a shrug. "I mean, you've seen how she is. Cold as ice, always staring people down like they're nothing. That's gotta come from somewhere, right?"

I didn't say anything, but I knew he was right. Delphine didn't just skate like she was trying to prove something—she *lived* like it. Cold, distant, always holding people at arm's length. She didn't let anyone get close, didn't let anyone see her struggle. Until yesterday, I hadn't even thought she was capable of it.

"So what're you gonna do?" Ethan asked, breaking the silence. "Just keep watching her from the sidelines, trying to figure her out?"

I shrugged, the question catching me off guard. "I don't know. It's not like I'm gonna walk up to her and ask why she's so intense. She'd probably just brush me off or bite my head off."

Ethan chuckled. "Probably. She doesn't seem like the friendly type. But hey, maybe you'll get her to crack. She's just a person, after all. Everyone's got their breaking point."

The words hung in the air, and I found myself wondering if that was true.