𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭

nineteen

Delphine

The music was pounding the moment we stepped inside, vibrating through the floor, the walls, and even the bones in my body.

This was definitely Eliza's scene—crowded rooms, flashing lights, bodies swaying together in a sort of rhythmic chaos. I could feel her excitement, a palpable energy that seemed to make her glow.

"Come on, Del! Let's go find some people," she shouted over the music, tugging at my arm. Her eyes were bright, and there was a grin plastered on her face as she scanned the room.

I followed her through the crowded living room, trying to blend in while keeping a distance from the noise.

The smell of sweat and cheap cologne mixed with the faint hint of spilled drinks, and as we passed a group laughing in the corner, someone offered us a shot.

Eliza took one with a wink, her free-spirited laugh cutting through the noise, but I shook my head.

"Suit yourself," the guy shrugged, tossing it back himself.

Eliza downed hers like a pro and then leaned closer, smirking at me. "Lighten up, Del. You're allowed to have fun, you know."

"I'm here, aren't I?" I retorted, rolling my eyes as I crossed my arms. But there was no way I was letting myself lose control here.

I wasn't about to become just another blurred face in a sea of strangers. My gaze shifted around the room, still taking everything in, feeling a strange mix of discomfort and fascination.

We made our way outside to the back patio where a few people were smoking and talking.

I grabbed a pack of cigarettes from my bag and pulled one out, feeling the familiar weight between my fingers.

Smoking wasn't exactly something I advertised, but there was something calming about it, especially in places like this. It gave me something to focus on, something to ground me in the midst of the chaos.

Eliza was already chatting up someone she knew, animatedly laughing and gesturing with her hands as she spoke. I leaned against the railing, taking a long drag, letting the smoke settle in my lungs before exhaling slowly.

The air was cooler out here, and the night sky was dark, providing a stark contrast to the blaring lights and sounds from inside.

As I watched the faint glow of the cigarette in my hand, I noticed a few curious glances. People were always surprised when they saw me smoking, as if I didn't fit the image they had of a figure skater, or maybe just didn't seem like the type.

But it was just a habit—a small rebellion, I suppose.

Something that let me disconnect for a while.

A group of guys walked out onto the patio, laughing loudly as they stumbled through the door. I recognized a few of them from campus, though I didn't know their names. One of them noticed me and gave a nod, looking a bit intrigued, but I looked away, uninterested.

Eliza caught my gaze and winked, mouthing something that I couldn't quite catch over the music.

She was always trying to set me up with someone, convinced that all I needed was to let loose and meet new people. But I wasn't here for that. I was here because she'd practically dragged me, and maybe, in some strange way, I wanted to see if I could actually handle it.

As I finished my cigarette, Eliza bounded over, grabbing my hand. "Delphine, come on, let's dance!" She was pulling me toward the crowd before I could even protest.