𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭

twenty eight

Delphine

I stared at myself in the mirror, the early evening light streaming through the window and casting a warm glow across my bedroom.

I had spent the last hour debating what to wear, the familiar anxiety creeping in as I flipped through my wardrobe. But today, it was different.

I was still wearing the same clothes I had worn to practice: a fitted black top and my favorite leggings.

I thought about changing but decided against it. I was tired of feeling like I needed to put on a show, tired of pretending everything was okay when it wasn't.

"Delphine! Are you ready yet?" Eliza's voice broke through my thoughts, pulling me from my self-examination.

"Yeah, just a second," I called back, trying to muster some enthusiasm.

Eliza had insisted on dragging me out tonight. She was determined to get me to have some fun, to be social.

I had initially resisted, feeling the weight of my anxiety pressing down on me, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. So here I was, about to leave the sanctuary of my apartment for a restaurant with her, Ethan, and Kaiden.

I stepped out into the hallway, and Eliza was already waiting, her eyes wide with excitement. She was dressed in a sundress, her hair flowing freely, the embodiment of carefree youth. "You look great!" she chirped, her enthusiasm infectious.

"Thanks," I replied, forcing a smile as I locked the door behind me.

As we made our way to the car, I felt a familiar knot in my stomach. It wasn't just nerves; it was a deep-seated anxiety that often settled in whenever I was faced with social situations. I hated feeling exposed, like everyone could see through me.

The drive to the restaurant was filled with Eliza's chatter about the latest campus gossip and her plans for the weekend. I nodded along, trying to engage, but my thoughts drifted. I was mostly focused on what would happen when we got there. Would they notice if I barely ate? Would Kaiden be there?

When we arrived, the restaurant was bustling with energy. The ambiance was lively, filled with laughter and the clinking of glasses. As we walked in, I felt a rush of warmth from the overhead lights, and for a moment, I let myself get swept up in the excitement.

Eliza led the way to a booth in the corner. Ethan was already there, scanning the menu. Kaiden arrived moments later, his presence instantly commanding attention. He had that laid-back charm that seemed to draw people in effortlessly.

"Hey," Kaiden greeted us, looking relaxed as he slid into the booth across from me.

We settled into the booth, and as we perused the menus, I felt a pang of dread.

My appetite was nonexistent, and I knew I should order something. But every option on the menu seemed overwhelming. I could feel the pressure mounting as I glanced at Eliza, who was excitedly discussing the different dishes.

"I'm definitely getting the truffle fries," she said, practically bouncing in her seat. "And maybe the burger too! What do you guys think?"

Ethan nodded in agreement. "Sounds good to me," he replied, scanning the menu. "I'm leaning towards the steak. How about you, Kaiden?"

"Pasta seems solid," Kaiden replied casually, his gaze flicking between Eliza and Ethan.

As I sat there, anxiety clawing at my insides, I felt the eyes of my friends land on me. "What about you Dels?" Eliza asked, breaking the brief lull in conversation.