love Me with terms and conditions

Finding solace

◇~◇

Jonathan drove me home in silence, the quiet between us heavy and unsettling. I stared out the window, my heart still churning from the night’s events, everything still burned in my mind, vivid as fire. I wanted to shake the thoughts away but I couldn’t. I didn’t even realize how tight my fists were clenched until Jonathan’s voice pulled me back to the present.

  “You’re…you’re sure you’re okay?” he asked, his gaze darting to me with concern.

  “Yes, I…” I stumbled over my words, trying to find something to fill the space, but my eyes caught a figure by my house, and my heart lurched ,It was Joseph standing there doing nothing with his hands in his pocket. He was the last person i wanted to see but there he was.

  My hands went cold, panic bubbling up, I didn’t want to see him, didn’t want him to see me. Without thinking I turned to Jonathan, grasping at anything to avoid stepping out of the car. “Um…are you sure your head’s alright? You know, after…the accident?”

  He frowned slightly, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “Miss Ara…my head’s fine, You asked me three times already.”

  “Oh, right,” I muttered, feeling foolish, grasping at straws. “Just checking.” My eyes flicked back outside, praying Joseph had gone and thankfully he had gone.

  The relief was instant yet a hollow ache filled me as I mumbled a rushed “goodnight” and slipped out of the car barely sparing a glance back at Jonathan.

  The house was dark when I stepped inside, quiet and still, and all I wanted was to retreat to my room, close the door, and shut the world out. I moved towards the stairs, lost in the day’s emotions, feeling each one of them scrape against me like jagged glass WHAT A DAY I thought to myself.

  I was barely halfway up when I saw her, My mother. She was sitting on the steps, her face hidden in shadows, but I could see her shoulders shaking. My mother was crying? That definitely wasn‘t my mother.

  “Mom?” I whispered, the sight of her there so foreign, so wrong. She’d always seemed so indestructible, so far beyond things like tears. I moved toward her, reaching out, tentative, like she might vanish if I got too close.

  “What happened?” I asked softly, the words barely leaving my lips.

  Her face twisted as she looked up, her eyes red, full of something I had seen before, pure burning rage but what had i done this time “What happened?” she hissed. “Are you seriously asking me that, Ara? Do you even know what it means to suffer? Or are you just that heartless?”

  “Mom, I don’t—” I started, my heart sinking, confusion mixing with dread But she didn’t let me finish.

  “Other parents,” she spat, her words dripping with resentment. “They have children who take care of them, who help them. And what do I have? What did I get? A daughter who’s nothing but a burden.” Her voice cracked, and I felt it like a knife, each word cutting deeper than the last.

  Her hand shot out, grabbing my arm in a vice-like grip, dragging me toward the front door. I was too stunned to resist, too hurt to understand.

  “Mom, what are you doing?” I stammered, but she didn’t answer. The next thing I knew, I was shoved out the front door, the night air cold against my skin. And then the door slammed shut.