between the spolight - purinz ✧

torn apart.

yunjin's pov —

the days blurred together like watercolor paint running in the rain. each morning, i woke to the same empty ache in my chest, a constant reminder of what i had lost. chaewon and i had made the decision to keep our relationship a secret, but the weight of that decision felt heavier than anything i could have imagined.

the next few days after the meeting with our pr manager were suffocating. the initial shock of the article had subsided, but the aftermath was relentless. the whispers in the hallways, the pointed glances from staffs, and the rampant speculation on social media became an oppressive backdrop to my life.

every time i entered the practice room, i felt the eyes of my team on me. i could almost hear the unspoken questions swirling around: is it true? are they really together?  chaewon and i exchanged small, fleeting glances, but our connection felt tenuous, like a thread ready to snap under pressure.

i had been avoiding her since the meeting, desperately trying to piece together my thoughts. what could i say that wouldn't hurt her further? it was as if we were both playing a game of emotional chess, trying to anticipate each other's moves without revealing our vulnerabilities.

but the distance didn't erase the truth. i longed for her touch, for the warmth of her laughter, but every time i approached her, i felt a wall rising between us. a wall built on our promises to keep things professional, to end what we had started, but i could feel the cracks starting to show.

it was a friday afternoon when i found myself alone in the practice room, lost in thought. the others had left early for the weekend, but i had stayed behind to rehearse. i needed the distraction, a way to channel my emotions into something tangible. the music played softly in the background, a melody that reminded me of the first time chaewon and i danced together—free, joyful, and unburdened by the world outside.

just then, the door creaked open, and she stepped inside. my heart leapt at the sight of her, but it was quickly followed by a familiar ache. she looked hesitant, her eyes darting around the room as if searching for the right words.

"hey," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"hey," i replied, trying to keep my tone casual, but the tension crackled between us.

chaewon took a step closer, and i felt my pulse quicken. the air was thick with unspoken words, and i knew we couldn't keep pretending that everything was fine.

"i wanted to talk," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor, unable to meet my eyes.

"me too," i said, my voice trembling slightly.

we both moved to the center of the room, a familiar dance space that felt foreign now. the silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating. finally, chaewon took a deep breath and looked up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"yunjin, i..." she started, her voice cracking. "i hate this. i hate that we're here. i don't want to lose you, but..."

the words hung in the air, the weight of her admission crashing down on us. "but we have to end it, right?" i finished for her, the acceptance tasting bitter on my tongue.

her face crumpled as she nodded, tears spilling over. "i can't handle the scrutiny. it's suffocating. it's affecting everything—our work, our friendships, and..." her voice faltered, and she turned away, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

i stepped closer, my heart aching for her. "i know. i've felt it too. but it doesn't change what we have, chaewon. it doesn't change what you mean to me."

she shook her head, her hair falling over her face as she took a step back. "but it can't stay like this. we can't be together publicly without destroying everything we've worked for. we can't drag us into this mess."

i felt like I was being torn in two. i wanted to scream, to protest, to fight for us, but i knew deep down that she was right. the industry we were in didn't allow for personal lives to mix with public personas. we were assets to the company, and our relationship could become a liability.

"what if we just... keep it private again?" i suggested, desperation creeping into my voice. "we don't have to tell anyone. we can find a way to make it work. we can see each other at my dorm.. or yours?"

her eyes softened, but the resolve in her gaze remained. "yunjin, that's not fair to you. you deserve to be loved openly, without fear or shame. i can't be the reason you have to hide who you are."

the tears fell freely now, and i reached out, brushing my fingers against her cheek, wanting to wipe away her pain. "you're not a burden to me, chaewon. you're everything."

"i love you," she whispered, her voice cracking. "but i can't do this. not like this."

the finality of her words hit me like a physical blow. the ache in my chest turned into a hollow emptiness as i pulled my hand away, feeling the distance between us grow wider.

"then what do we do?" i asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "how do we just... stop?"

chaewon wiped her eyes, frustration and sorrow warring in her expression. "i don't know," she admitted. "but we have to try. for the sake of everything else, we have to try."

i swallowed hard, each breath feeling like a struggle. i wanted to fight for us, to scream that love was worth the risk, but deep down, i knew the truth. we were at a crossroads, and no amount of desire could change the reality of our situation.

"i don't want to lose you," i said, my voice trembling.

"you won't lose me," she replied, her voice steadier now. "i'll always be here. you'll always be in my heart, but we can't do this anymore. it's too much."

and just like that, the last shred of hope I held onto slipped away. i stepped back, feeling the distance become a chasm between us. "so, this is it?" i asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"this is it," she confirmed, tears streaming down her face.

i nodded, the reality of our situation settling like a heavy weight on my chest. "okay."

as she turned away, i felt like i was losing a part of myself, the very essence of who i was. i wanted to reach out, to pull her back into my arms and never let go, but i couldn't.

i watched as she walked toward the door, each step heavy with the finality of our decision.

"chaewon," i called out, desperation creeping into my voice. she paused, glancing back at me, and i could see the pain etched on her face. "i love you. i always will."

a broken smile crossed her lips, a shadow of the joy we once shared. "and i love you. always."

then she was gone, the door closing behind her with a finality that echoed in my heart. i stood there alone, the silence enveloping me, and the reality of our shattered love settled in like a heavy fog. i had lost her, and nothing would ever feel the same again.