What Is Left Behind

1.2

Being the youngest child, I am always known for being my siblings' little sister. If you would have asked me about that last year, I would have gotten upset and said I am my own person, but this year maybe I will be okay with it. Because this year I'm just Wells' little sister.

Walking into school two weeks and two days late everyone stares, or at least I think they are staring. My dad says I believe even the trees are watching me, which I say, but they are. I can hear whispers and maybe they aren't about me, but my mind tells me they are. A few familiar faces smile as I walk by, and some say hi. I can see the pity behind their kindness.

I imagine there is a little gray cloud over my head. It doesn't look threatening or scary, just sad. One that looks heavy and full of rain. At any moment it'll let go and pour. Everyone watching it knows it could happen at any time now, but I won't let it happen.

"Finally, here to join me suffering?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

Leaning against my locker, was a girl wearing sweats and an old, baggy Miami Dolphins shirt. She'll come to school like a homeless kid one day then come to school dressed like she will walk a runway right after school the next. Uncaring at the fact of what anyone will say about her, because that is just her. Confidence oozed off her like honey from a honeycomb. Sweet and sticky. She knew she was being watched by everyone and she knew it was mostly the male gaze and she owned it.

Isadora Hernandez at the age of fifteen was tall for her age at 5 '7 and was well toned due to doing cheer since middle school. Her height this year made her change from a flyer, to being the girl that lifts every one. She was mainly known for her long oil black hair that shined in the light and always smelled like coconuts.

This girl was gorgeous in every way I wanted to be.

She has been my best friend since we were ten and she moved in down the street at the Whitford farm. If someone knew how I felt, maybe Isadora would be that person. Even if she did not understand, she would just join me in the rain with an umbrella, because that's who she is.

"School is not all that bad." I said pushing her off my locker so I can open it.

"So, you aren't with me?"

I looked over at my best friend with a knowing smile, "I'm always with you."

"Good, because I've missed you."

Aside from a few texts and late-night calls, I haven't really reached out to her since my family's accident. Isadora was the first person I told after it happened. Running all the way to her house outside of town and right into her cozy room.

But at the end of the day how do you comfort someone who has gone through something unimaginable?

"So, how is Wells?" Isadora asked as I closed my locker.

"He's Wells, you know how he gets."

I linked my arm through hers and we took off down the hallway together. Our room was across the hall from each other, we never seemed to share many classes but this year we lucked out with the same lunch and two classes together.

Around Isadora I felt confident. Which is why I clung to her in a public setting, without her I felt out of place. Like everyone looked at me and wonder why the littlest Black kid was there. If I was old enough to even, go to a party. Isadora tells me I over think it, and if that was true, I couldn't help it.

"Anything new happened while I was gone?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the eyes watching me.

"Let's see..." Isadora thought for a moment before nodding to herself. "New popular girl came to school. She is Sloane Beauregard's cousin, and I swear every guy is obsessed with her. My cousins included."

I laughed and asked, "Are they going to fight over this one?"

"It's worse this time. Issac and the twins are into her, of course, but Reece has been seen talking with her."

"Reece, too? Dang she must be gorgeous."

I felt jealous creepy onto my back. A girl I have never met and probably have no chance against, was coming in and making Reece like her.

Reece Whitford was Isadora's cousin who was two grades above us. Out of all eleven cousins she has, he was the nicest in my opinion. Others would say Silas, one of the twins, or Briar, but for me it was Reece.

He was my first crush.

Now that I'm older I see we could never be, but I cannot help jealousy when I see him with other girls. I'm not hot and cunning like Isadora or even model worthy with a good family name like Sloane Beauregard. I'm just Allie Black and Reece likes me for me not my siblings

"She's Sloane Beauregard's cousin, Als, she is model worthy, and she is from Malibu or something."

"Wow." Is all I said, because in my opinion, Sloane Beauregard was the prettiest girl in school, and I'm sure everyone agrees with me. So, her cousin must be gorgeous.

"Yeah, it's like the Hadid sisters are at our school now."

I laughed softly as we stopped outside of our homerooms that were across from each other.

"Oh, and I am seeing Henry Ou now."

"Hairy Henry?"

"Oh please, that is such an elementary nickname, Al's." Isadora formed a smirk as she said, "I can tell you he isn't hairy anymore."

"Isa!" I slapped her shoulder as she chuckled.  "I can't believe you!"

"Babes, I'm turning sixteen in like four months or something. I can kiss boys."

"Kissing doesn't mean you know how hairy a boy is or isn't. You know what does!"

Isadora just laughs as the bell rings. This felt normal for us. Like my life was the same it was last year, and I had not had to miss the first two weeks of school. My ball of anxiety for today was slowly melting as I found my confidence in my friend again.

"I have so much to tell you." Isadora ruffled my hair before leaving. "Later babes."

I watched her waltz into her classroom with the confidence I was praying would linger with me as I go through my morning. This year had a rough start, but I can do this.

I am okay.

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thanks for reading!

*** rough draft, kind of edited***

- jill