What Is Left Behind

FOUR

I rode the bus home. Watching everything pass by out the window.

I had my earbuds in, but no music coming through.

I rode in silence.

By the time dad called us down for dinner, I was almost finished with half my homework. Shutting my door and getting to work was my specialty. So, I can relax the rest of the night. I used to go over to Isadora's where her house is the opposite from my house. Loud and chaotic. The only noise in my house is the muffle bass of my brother's music and the low, soft jazz my parents play while cooking.

At the dinner table we just eat. No small talk.

My mom did most of what I call her closing questions. My dad only spoke up once tonight.

"Where is Wells?" He asks my mom, who just shrugs. He then turns to me. "Allie, did you get your brother?"

I shook my head. "He can hear you call for dinner."

My dad lets out a tired sign and sets his fork down roughly. That noise makes my mom look up from her plate in annonce. She glares at my dad before turning towards me.

"Allison, you can watch your tone." She snaps.

"Sorry."

"If your brother doesn't want to join us for dinner, that's fine. He knows the rules."

The rule in question, don't eat dinner with everyone, no dinner at all that night. They used to lock the fridge and cabinets to make sure this rule was enforced. They claim it's to teach us to have a nice, loving family dinner. What they don't know is Wells hides food in his room for us.

"Now, why didn't you go to practice today?" My mom voice was sharper now. This was a dangerous topic for us. "Your coach sent out an email saying about giving yourself a week or so time. What was she talking about, Allison."

I pushed my peas back and forth. My food was looking very interesting suddenly and I felt like avoiding her questions to find out the different shapes they make.

"Allison, please, be mature and answer me."

With a sigh, I said, "I didn't feel up to it today and she is giving me a week to decide if I want to compete next month. My spot is being held if that's what you're worried about."

My mother looked over at my father is disbelief.

Maybe she was looking towards him for support. To share the same emotions, thoughts, but my dad just watched his plate become empty with every bite.

"You have scouts watching you now. You can't afford taking time off." My mothers were words I have been hearing since I won the summer competition.

I think the paper read something like, a up and coming sophomore wins the summer regional championship beating out her seniors. Its hanging up in my mom's office, or at least it was. She might have taken it down by now.

"You have had your time to mourn, now it's time to move on."

"Move on?" I snapped.

My face heated up at those words. By the look on my mother's face, she did not mean it that way, but words cannot be taken back. My dad even looked up finally, seeming to snap out of his trance.

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it.' Her voice was thick. Finally, some emotion behind her words other then anger. "You can't live in the past and the what if's forever, Allison. Yes, you are only a sophomore, but graduation will be here faster than you realize. As your mother I need make sure you have a secure place. I am just trying to set you up and keep your brother afloat. Please just understand."