I'm starting to have strange thoughts again. Namely that I'm scared that the reason things are so strange right now is because life is a weird dream or a simulation that is beginning to crack. You may read this and laugh but it's very disturbing for me now at 3am to think about.
What is going on with our world? Why are people so stupid?
A really odd thing I've noticed lately is that blue cars are on the road more than usual. It could be a bias that I have formed. You notice something once and suddenly it's everywhere and you are more attuned to seeing it.
Or it could be that blue is the color in fashion. I don't know.
Something I've noticed in my life for years is heart-shaped things. I used to live by a heart-shaped pond and out my window was a heart-shaped tree. I blow into my cup and when the foam in my cup splits you know what I see?
Heart-shaped bubbles on my sponge. Heart-shaped peanut butter in the jar. Heart-shaped puddles everywhere. They follow me everywhere.
You know I've been thinking about how odd things have been in the news lately. People are so strange and alien. They don't seem real to me. I don't know it's like how do these people who go to rallies and burn ballot boxes up even function in the world?
I'm asking as someone who evidently does not function in the world. But I have behaved myself better than them. It's like watching a circus act. Very extreme and theatrical. Why is Donald Trump a garbage man now?
I don't understand humanity. I'm scared and disturbed. Please if there is a God above, and I do believe there is, why do people think this shit is funny?
I don't get it. Is this what being a mature adult is like? I feel like I grew a brain and suddenly outrageous random stuff I feel does not mix with this situation.
Or more likely I didn't take the suffering of others into consideration before. I don't know maybe it's that I've changed and I'm not entertained by this deranged behavior anymore.
