Blair O'Connor was the life of every party-popular, fearless, and always the center of attention. But behind the perfect image was an abusive boyfriend who slowly stripped away the girl she used to be.
After finally breaking free, Blair transfers...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Fifth Year October 25th, 2004.
Over the past few months, I'd finally started to realize that Connor wasn't good for me.
It took me years to see through all his sweet words, all his little promises. I'd told myself he'd change, that the Connor I fell for was still somewhere beneath it all, hidden beneath the bad moments, the cruel remarks. But now I could see him for who he truly was, and I felt like such a dickhead for holding on so long.
Tonight, though... tonight was different. I'd been out of it, a few drinks too many at the party, and he'd seen that. He'd noticed me struggling to keep my balance, slurring my words. But instead of helping me, instead of making sure I got home safely, he took advantage of me in ways I never thought he would.
For years, I'd ignored that sinking feeling after the nights I could barely remember, where my head was foggy, and I'd wake up confused and numb. He'd brush it off with that dismissive charm, saying I'd had "too much fun" or that he'd just been "taking care" of me. I'd ignored it because, deep down, I didn't want to believe he'd do that to me. I didn't want to see the truth about the person I thought I loved.
But tonight... I couldn't ignore it anymore.
I hated myself for letting it get this far, for letting him make me believe I needed him, that somehow I was better off with him than without him. I hated how I'd ignored those signs, those moments that made my skin crawl, pretending they didn't mean anything, convincing myself that he loved me.
Love doesn't feel like this. Love doesn't make you feel hollow and ashamed, questioning your worth, your choices, your reality. Love doesn't use you, make you doubt yourself, or leave you feeling broken.
I lay there in the darkness, feeling the weight of it all sink in. This wasn't love, and it never had been. I'd let him take too much from me, steal parts of myself I didn't even know I was giving away. But tonight was the last time. I was done letting him control me, make me feel like I was nothing without him.
I deserved better. Even if I didn't fully believe it yet, I knew I needed to get out, to reclaim those parts of myself that I'd lost along the way. I didn't know what the future would look like, but I knew I couldn't stay in this shadow of a relationship any longer.
He came back into my room after using the bathroom, his footsteps heavy and unsteady as he crossed the floor. I pulled the blanket up to my chest, suddenly feeling exposed, raw. The alcohol was wearing off, and with it, the fog that usually kept me from seeing everything too clearly. I could feel my heart racing, my pulse thrumming in my ears as he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes glazed.
"Why're you all covered up?" he asked with a lazy smirk, like it was some kind of joke. He reached out, tugging at the blanket, but I held it tighter, keeping the fabric close to me.
