Keefe awoke the next afternoon, it was 2:00PM and his head throbbed. The bad decisions from the night before were punishing him. Now that Keefe had sobered up, he was almost fully aware of what happened the night before, he got drunk, went to a park and found himself at home. But he wasn't sure how he'd gotten here. He knew that he couldn't have stumbled back to campus and to his dorm on his own, but he hadn't any friends he would call... Oh. Keefe sucked in a breath as he realised that his roommate and self-appointed alcohol monitor must have found out he was drinking and rushed to save him.
He groaned as he got up, stumbling out of his bed and into the bathroom. He stared at his reflection, which looked terrible. Dark bags hung under his eyes, and they seemed to be cemented there recently. His hair stuck up in every direction, making him look like a kid's drawing of the sun. And his skin was waxy; he was glowing with sweat. He hopped in the shower and hopped out just as quickly, not bothering to dry off his dripping hair. He stepped out of the bathroom in a grey hoodie and equally grey sweatpants.
He thought Tam would give him the cold shoulder for a bit, then yell at him to be more careful. But Tam Song wouldn't even meet his eyes. Whenever Keefe glanced over, Tam turned as white as a ghost and turned away.
"Good morning to you too, Tammy," Keefe said, yawning. "What's up with you?"
Tam seemed to get angry at that. "You don't remember?" He grunted. Keefe laughed, thinking it was a joke. When Tam glared at him, he realised it wasn't.
"I was drunk." Keefe said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Tammy. Can't have been that bad. Did I break the law or something?"
"Or something," Tam muttered, and Keefe was sure there was a hint of pink dusting his cheeks.
"That's not helpful at all." Keefe snorted. "I know your first language is sarcasm, but please, tone it down for us idiots."
"Idiot is right."
"You're such an arsehole." Keefe said. Tam turned to face him, flames in his eyes. His lips were pressed in a thin line, which is how Keefe new he was about to unleash some harsh words.
"I'm the arsehole? That's news to me. I wasn't the one who kissed their fucking rival! After drinking!"
Keefe felt his blood run cold. He swallowed, suddenly very interested in his feet. "I did what?"
Tam deflated, mirroring Keefe's expression. "You kissed me. Told me I was cute, too."
Keefe was stammering. He rose to his feet, putting distance between him and Tam. Keefe Sencen kissed Tam Song. Keefe Sencen kissed Tam Song. Keefe Sencen kissed...
The words became a lull in the back of his mind. He was sure they'd haunt him for the rest of his life. And then another thought emerged: Keefe Sencen kissed a boy. It wasn't possible. Keefe Sencen, ever the ally, was as straight as an arrow. He was the most stereotypical straight person ever: Did plenty of sports in school, often sported the varsity jackets and hung around a group of shitty friends at parties. People did tease him, though. Told him that his skincare and haircare routines were gay, but Keefe was confident in himself. Until now.
"But you're..." Keefe said, not voluntarily. The words just slipped out of his mouth. Tam folded his arms.
"I'm a what?" Tam taunted. The anger and desperation in his tone hurt Keefe. "Finish the fucking sentence, Sencen."
"You're a dude." Keefe said, not unkindly. He was in awe of himself. It seemed just as impossible as fairytales. The monsters under the bed are real. Pigs will fly. Keefe Sencen is gay. But the feeling was still uncomfortable. Tam turned red.
"You're homophobic?!" Tam said through a dry, humourless laugh. "That's just fantastic. And predictable. So fucking predictable."
"No, I'm not-" Keefe started, trying to gather his thoughts. The thoughts seemed to zip past him, out of reach and unreadable. But the feelings their elicited were obvious.
"Bullshit." Tam said. "Damn. Here I thought it was going to be awkward because we hate each other. How could I not account for our dearest homophobe, Keefe Sencen!"
That stung. Keefe rubbed his eyes. "I'm not a homophobe, I-"
"Oh yes, of course not. Just another arsehole who says they're an ally, but God forbid they interact with anything remotely feminine."
Keefe wanted to yell at Tam, tell him to shut up. But Tam was so overwhelmed, Keefe decided that it would do no good. Another thought clicked into place, finishing the five-hundred-piece puzzle that was this interaction. "You're gay?"
Tam's anger fizzled away. Replacing it was the disappointed demeanour of a kid. "Took you long enough."
Keefe nodded along. He stepped forward, with the tentative nature of a criminal approaching a cop and wrapped his arm around Tam Song. Tam stiffened at the touch but managed to awkwardly wrap his arms around Keefe and pat his back. Keefe pulled away first.
"I'm not a homophobe." Keefe said. "I'm straight. At least... I thought I was."
"Kissing a guy doesn't make you gay," Tam pointed out. Keefe nodded along half-heartedly. He knew that. There's nothing gay apart from being gay. But something about today seemed to unlock Keefe's vision. Keefe saw Tam in a new light. And that was terrifying.
"We've got class to get to," Keefe said, checking the time. "Photography."
Tam rolled his eyes. "In two hours, dumbass. Have some breakfast."
And Keefe did so, eating the cereal at such astronomical speed that Tam even remarked that the food wasn't going anywhere. But Keefe was ravenous. Confrontations did take up energy, after all. Tam was silent for a few minutes after that, and that was usually not a good sign. After ten painful minutes of silence, Tam spoke.
"Thank you," Tam looked uncomfortable. Keefe was about to ask why, but he understood. Keefe smiled.
"No problem," Keefe said, coolly. But inside, he was about as cool as a cucumber that was covered in chilli and set on fire. And then thrown into the sun.
Keefe had to be straight. He had to. He had girlfriends galore, and he was always attracted to them. But something about the way Tam smiled, like the sliver of light at the end of a tunnel, caught Keefe's eye. And his heart.
YOU ARE READING
Picture Us
FanfictionKeefe and Tam, fiercely competitive 19-year-old college students, have always vied for the top spot in all their minor classes. But their plan of staying clear of each other is wrecked when they're thrown together in the same dorm. Now they're spend...