Can't Be Friends

Feelings

~LeSane ~

Staring at the ceiling of his living room, LeSane thought over the crazy month that he had. He'd never noticed how misguided teenagers were until now. These past couple of weeks he had to arrest 10 young black brothers and explain to 5 families that their child was injured or killed due to street violence. Almost all of the children weren't even 18 yet. He felt like crying. Crying for those kids. Crying for their families. Crying for humanity, but he couldn't. He hated how the world was. He hated how everything seemed to be so evil. Nothing good was happening for him. Of course he had a good job, lived in a beautiful house that he owned, and didn't have to pay off his car anymore, but what was all that to him. That was what he was supposed to have. He felt like he needed to do more. He felt like he should be doing more for his people. He just didn't know what it was.

*BUZZZZZZZ*
Anastasia -
Hey

LeSane stared at his phone. He didn't want to be bothered by anybody tonight but he did need someone to talk to. He'd been avoiding Anastasia all week. She was getting too attached and quite frankly, he could care less about her feelings. He wasn't trying to get serious with her. He didn't want to get serious with her or anyone else. He didn't want to feel at all. His heart was slowly turning into dust. He contemplated on whether he should respond.

Anastasia -
Please talk to me LeSane, I miss you.

He sighed before texting her back.

LeSane -
Just got off. Wassup?

Anastasia -
Can I come through?

LeSane -
I've had a long week. I'm not really into doin anything tonight.

Anastasia -
We don't have to do anything. You can just talk to me. I'll listen. I just want to be with you. I really miss your presence.

LeSane -
Come on then...

LeSane set his phone down and slouched further down into his couch and sat there for awhile rubbing his head. He should have told her that he was very tired. He shouldn't have even texted her back. He can't talk to her. She was a cool shorty but she wasn't worthy of his thoughts. Her mindset was too naive. He got up and hopped in the shower to ease his mind. By the time he was settled and dressed he heard the doorbell.

"Who is it?" He asked although he knew it was Anastasia.

"It's me" she replied and he opened the door. "You knew it was me. Why would you ask?" She leaned in for a kiss but he turned and kissed her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just so tired and I have a killer headache." He plopped back down on his couch.

"Did you take something for it?"

"I don't need to."

"Sure. Anyway, tell me what's been going on." Anastasia made her way to the couch and sat next to LeSane. She started to rub his head.

"Life. And it's crazy." He moved her hand off of his head.

"Umm, ok. What about it is crazy?"

"Do you ever feel like you can do more to change the world? Do you ever feel like you can do more to change the kids in the world, like their lives and how they feel about the world? Do you ever think that maybe you can be the one to make a difference?" LeSane didn't blink nor did he even look her way. He was zoned out looking at the blank TV screen.

Anastasia was puzzled, "Well, no. Not really. I mean I can tell someone my opinion but that doesn't mean they'll listen. Besides, I don't think it's our problem to be handling troublesome kids, it's their parents' responsibility."