The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 16 - Madeline 🌸

A few weeks have passed since I kissed Jude, and I still can't believe how quickly things changed.

The morning after that kiss, I went home and told Sofia everything. She barely even blinked—she said she already knew, just by watching us. Apparently, we give off "something obvious." I hoped she's right

Jude and I keep talking since then. We've been on two more dates, each one better than the last.  Talking with him feels easy, and he's starting to open up too. We've talked about almost everything, though I haven't fully shared my issues with my parents yet. He understands why I held back and knows that someday I'll have enough courage to tell him everything. For now, he knows I'm not in good terms with him. He even told me about his dyslexia and the bullying he went through because of it. Weirdly enough, now I want to punch all those freaking kids. He laughed and told me how cute I was wanting to defend him for something that happened more than ten years ago.

I slowly became at ease with him. It's okay for me to see him in college — at lunch mostly — even though I can feel stares on me. From jealous and maybe envious girls. Trustfully, there isn't anything to be envious for. And I know that in my heart. Yet my brain sometimes struggles to accept that.

Still, I quickly realized that the girls aren't envious of me, but rather of my relationship with Jude. He tries hard to tell me how much he doesn't care about other girls and I believe him. That much I can manage. What's harder is tuning out their hurtful comments. When I say that kids can be mean, I should have also mention that adults can be just as cruel, if not worse.

It's things like, 'she's ugly' or 'she's not his type' and I even hear things as 'she's way too much for him'. It doesn't take a genius to understand what they mean by that. I'm not the skinniest girl on earth, I know that. But I'm not overweight or at least I didn't think so until now. I've never truly cared for the way I looked. Physically speaking, having straight hair was the biggest of my worries. But I might start to care seeing how such comments somehow made me self-conscious. It comes a lot and so I start to doubt his saint reputation in bed. Girls seem to know how he acts and he told me he didn't had a lot of relationships but surely, a big portion of Nashville population seem to prove otherwise.

So I thought I'd seek advice from Colin. At first he didn't want to meddle in his best friend's business and I respected that. As I was leaving him, he told me one thing : "Maddy. Talk to him. He's one of the most understanding man I've known. And I swear I'm not saying this because Jude's my best friend," and I believed him. "And if there's something Jude doesn't joke with is loyalty and liars. He despises them. So he's not one and he'll never be, trust me."

I couldn't ignore this and so tonight I'm going to confront him. I want him to reassure me, to tell me he's not playing with me, that he's not thinking of me as some slut he can use whenever he wants and then throw me out. Deep down, I know he's not but I need to hear it.

I can't think anymore as I'm leaving my brother's car that he kindly lent me for the evening. I just told him that I'm supposed to have a date and the most embarrassing moment of my life happened : he told me to be careful with the guy, urging me to protect myself and to protect the guys' dick. I don't think I can look at him in the eyes again without thinking of this moment and without my face heating up. Even him was embarrassed. I'm sure in a few days we'll laugh about it but for now, we reached an unparalleled level of awkwardness. The mixture of his protective instinct and my mortification hanged heavy in the air as I was leaving the house.

I knock on Jude's door. I hear a sweet coming before he opens it. He told me Colin wont be here so we'll have the house for ourselves tonight. He kisses my cheek before letting me come inside with a smile. I take a look at my surroundings amazed at the beautiful — and clean — house. He takes me to a quick tour and we find our way back to the leaving room.