The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 4 - Jude 🏒

I can't help myself but intervene as the others are coming to join us, leaving their bags next to the entry. "Coach, I told them to go, I thought you wanted to talk to us five only. I am—"

"As much as I am concerned, I am the coach here," he says emphasizing the pronoun  "and you're the player. I didn't asked you to say something." he blurts as I feel myself blush a bit from embarrassment.

The others won't even look at me in the eyes nor would they look at him. 

"Being nicer never killed someone." James Saint-Clair, a new kid from the team and the youngest says in my defense.

I appreciate that but he's going to get himself killed. Reyes hear that and slowly turn towards Saint-Clair, still no emotions showing "Did you say something Saint-Clair ?" 

"Yes, I—" he starts before seeing my eyes and the big NO showing right above my head. The kid definitely has a death wish. "No, I didn't say anything" he finally mutters and the coach hums in response far away from being a naive person.

"At least, the team spirit isn't completely lost," he says which made us wonder what is happening. One second, he is almost spitting on us, giving us a hard time and now, he's complimenting us. One of the best compliment we can get as a team. And finally the mask fall. 

"Okay big guys, I can see the question marks on your eyes," Coach says before pointing at me and the four other guys. "As I said to Saint-Clair, I give orders. Obviously, you're welcome to have opinions and I am ready to listen to them but... in the last game, only five of you got in the way of a possible and truly happening win, which obviously didn't happen." he says sarcastically. 

I still don't raise my head but I can feel his stare on me. "All instructions I gave you are made in order for you to be at your best, play at your best and win. And maybe sometimes, those instructions will lead you nowhere, there will be no point bla-bla-bla. We've already talked about that. But yesterday...oh God yesterday you played like toddlers. Even my grand-daughter listen to me more !" Coach finally explodes  a bit irritated.

I know we are on the wrong here. I should have listened to him and no matter what I say, it won't change a thing. The only thing I can do right now, is apologize to my teammates and to Reyes. They don't deserve to be held responsible for something I initiated. 

"So maybe it was a bit of a sadist thing to make you run on a treadmill after the main training but I want you to know that you need to listen to me, or at least talk to me before making a move. So now, I am asking you five a question and the others, feel free to answer. You're as much concerned as them. Why, after planning the play during the break between the second and third periods, did you went crazy, doing whatever you seem fair enough and useful which wasn't really I'm afraid and... I am also asking you Jude. You're the captain of this team and you did something which I truly didn't understand. Results were, you were completely lost after the third period, because you lost your confidence and your play as a team, which is one of this team biggest advantage. " Coach ends, his arms crossed on his chest waiting for an answer. We all know the question isn't directed towards all of us but me essentially.

As I finally rise my head to look at him, I find my words  "I am sorry Coach, it won't happen again. I think... I think I was just tired and wanted to finish the third period fast. I saw an opportunity and thought it will allow us to take the lead but... clearly I was in the wrong." I mutter really sorry.

I thought passing the puck to Zack, one of the five victims of coach anger would be the best solution even though we agreed during the break, that I should make a pass to James. I couldn't because Zack was in a better position. The thing is that our competitors were clearly waiting for that. It was their plan. Plan they followed to the letter. They knew that Zack would be best positioned and they ensured that he was alone. I didn't think before doing it, which was my first biggest mistake. Then, when Zack got the puck, he was a little behind the net and just had to run straight and pass it up to James. He would have put it in.

It was great in my mind. 

For short, Zack was hit by one of the opponent and James lost the puck because they were all coming at him and obviously, he was alone with Colin in the zone. And they couldn't make anything. After that lost point, we lost all of them. We couldn't play anymore. We just lost hope and even though Coach roared "it's okay, we continue with the plan" from behind, we didn't and I take all responsibility here. The others went with my stupid decisions. Colin began to make some mistakes too, completely disconnected from me, and we need to play together and read each other games. Things went sideways too with Zack, James and Steve.

During the last break, Coach didn't even gave us instructions. And that's basically everything.

Ah.. we lost.

"I am sorry," I repeat one last time. Colin put his hand on my shoulder as a support and I am thankful. Everyone then apologized which isn't necessary to me. 

"And I am sorry too." Coach finally says, leaving us speechless. We weren't prepared for that. 

We're now looking at each other wondering what just happened.

"Don't look at me like that," he ruminates before sighing "I shouldn't have make you play all the games. I think two were enough, wether it was the first and the fifth or the second and the third. Anyway, two and maybe three would have been good for you. I knew you started to be tired when Colin would be out of service almost once in two" Coach keeps going. At what Colin answers "Ah..." which make us laugh and Coach smiles a bit.

Right away, the atmosphere changes a bit, for the better.

"Anyway I am sorry. You had a hell of a season, a great one that is. I was a bit angry yes when you lost during the NHL circuit but in no way it was because you played like fools. I want better for you, always. And I know you get me and the way I think. And I also know those games gave you experience for the next seasons. And you'll keep learning through them so it wasn't entirely a bad idea. Now, I hope today will give you another lesson and I learned it myself : when you can't anymore or you feel the need to have a break, individually or as a team, tell me. Talk to me. Don't keep me and yourselves in the dark kids." Coach clarifies.

A collective Yes resonate in the gym. He says a few more things and give us our two weeks holidays which is the best thing I've heard today. We finally got up and while the others go to the locker room or their cars, I stay wanting to talk to coach.

"Do you want me to stay ?" Colin asks me

"No I am good, I just want to say something to Reyes first. I'll be in the locker room in a few. Thanks" I answer back before eyeing him getting out of the gym.

Coach is heading towards the exit before I stop him. "Yes Jude. Something's wrong ?" he kindly asks me.

"I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. I should have never took those decisions. It wasn't one but a few. So, I'd understand if next season you wouldn't want me as a captain anymore." I finally blurt

Being captain is a blast and I can't be happier for that big responsibility. But I feel like since the last game in the NHL circuit, I've been out of it. Sure, the adrenaline during the two first consolations games gave me the energy to be good and powerful but now... I am not sure how I can fulfill this role when tired or angry or stressed. I should be a good captain and more than that, a good player no matter the situations we find ourselves in.

"Jude, stop thinking so much. I can see everything going crazy inside," he kindly tells me. "For now, I'd like you to enjoy the rest of the summer, take a break. Try not to think too much about hockey. It's been a few months since your last NHL game and everything is behind you. " he says with a gentle voice.

I hear him but I don't hear me being a captain next season. I thank him and turn around making my way towards the locker room and I can't think about anything else but my possible revocation as the team's captain.

"And Jude ?!" Coach calls  "I hope you're ready to have great responsibilities next season. " he says with a smirk.

I can feel my smile reaching my eyes as I understand what Reyes just told me. I am going to be captain next season and even though I would have understood if not, I can't help myself but be happy. Nothing is lost, I am going to enjoy my holidays and come back stronger. That I am.