Time Can't Tell

Complications

I was scheduled to man the lounge by myself the day after my parents' party. It was empty and near closing time when Jake walked in and sat on a stool across from me.

I'd had the day off from the chauffeuring of my father and Zach. Evidently neither had felt well when they woke up. We'd all known the truth, but I had only responded to the text with an affirmative and had spent the day working on errands I had put off. I went to a meeting. Fulfilled an appointment with my psychiatrist. Took advantage of the employee access to the lodge gym. Went for a run. Grocery shopped. Did my laundry. Basic tasks that I needed to be doing regularly, but I'd been having less and less time to do since my family reappeared.

When Jake walked in, I was working on one of my tasks from my psychiatrist. She'd given it to me the very first time I'd met her out of rehab, but I hadn't been keeping up with it as well as I should have. And she made sure to tell me about that at my appointment.

I didn't stop writing in the journal when he sat across from me. If he wanted something, he was capable of getting it himself. Plus I figured he wanted to talk about the night before, but I wasn't ready for it to be ruined yet. No one ever wanted anything long term with an addict and it had probably just been impulsive. He'd felt pity after seeing my family. It probably meant more to me than it ever would to him.

And I was letting my mind get away from me. I didn't know any of those things for sure. I couldn't go down that road if it wasn't something concrete.

I ran my hand over my face as I stared down at the words I'd written. My thoughts wondered all over the place, but Dr. Fuentes had informed me that was okay. It didn't have to make sense if it was legitimately the thoughts that I was having at that moment.

"Thessie called off tomorrow," Jake said, interrupting my thoughts. I put my pen down and straightened up.

"Last night too much for her?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. She has some family stuff going on, so she had to catch a plane home. She won't be back for awhile." I nodded slowly, already trying to work out how fucked up the schedule would be with one less person. "James asked if I would take her place on the research shit. Evidently maintenance has the most workers to spare of the departments, but there's only two of us who have the right licenses and certifications. The old man doesn't want to do it."

I arched an eyebrow. "And you agreed?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really have a choice if I wanted to remain employed." he took a deep breath and poured some salt out onto the bar, running his finger through it. "If it feels like I'm meddling too much in your life, especially after last night, I can find someone else. There has to be someone in another department who is capable."

I had been afraid that he was seeing too much of my life and was going to run the other way. But I should have known better. Two years of friendship, in which he had seen me in some pretty dark places, should have told me otherwise. It had just been the addict in me convincing myself that I wasn't worth it.

"It's fine," I told him. "Actually, it's a relief. Zach might leave me alone now."

Jake looked up at me sharply. "He hasn't? Even after you told him it wasn't good for you?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't really get the meaning of no. Thessie kept him distracted for the most part."

Jake pursed his lips before he looked back down at his salt. I watched as he drew a circle that grew and grew until most of the salt on the edges had been scattered.