The Stranger

Chapter 36 - Cassandra

Chapter 36 – Cassandra

The weeks slipped by, one after another, and the winter chill seemed to settle in my bones. Alex was gone, back to Madrid—at least, that's where I assumed he'd gone. He hadn't exactly left a note, but his desk was empty. He'd finished his work in the London office, just as he'd said he would, and I told myself it was fine. Things were over, and I'd throw myself back into my career. There was nothing else to do.

But late at night, in the quiet of my flat, I knew that was a lie. I missed him in a way I couldn't describe, in a way that felt both ridiculous and impossible to ignore. And it wasn't just him; it was the feeling I'd had when I was with him, the surrender, the trust. That sense of letting go that felt... right. Now I just felt unmoored, lost in the routine of work and everyday tasks, pretending I was okay.

After work one evening, I met up with Lisa for drinks. She was her usual bright self, catching me up on gossip and the latest drama at the office, her laughter infectious as we sat in our cosy booth. I felt myself relax a little, letting her chatter fill the empty spaces. But eventually, Lisa looked at me, her eyes narrowing.

"Cassie, you're not yourself lately. Are you... okay? Is this about him?" she asked gently.

I felt myself tense up. I hadn't told her everything, not about Alex, not even his name. "I don't know what you mean," I said, trying to brush it off with a casual shrug.

Lisa's gaze was steady. "Oh, please. Don't act like I don't know you. You've been seeing someone, haven't you? Someone who meant something to you. I saw the way you two looked at each other."

My heart nearly stopped. I'd barely let myself think about Alex outside of my own mind, let alone say his name aloud. "Wait... how did you...?" I stammered, heat rising to my cheeks.

"Oh, come on, Cassie," she said, smirking a little. "I'm not blind. I saw the way he looked at you. And when you first mentioned you'd met someone... someone who didn't mind taking control..." She raised an eyebrow, and I knew she understood far more than I'd realised.

"So... you knew it was Alex?" I asked, the words catching in my throat.

"Of course I did," she said with a small laugh. "I mean, he might have been trying to be discreet, but it was obvious when he was around you. Besides, you weren't exactly keeping it under wraps."

I shook my head, feeling both embarrassed and relieved to have someone to talk to. "Lisa, it's... it's over. There were things I read about him, about his past. There are rumours and a reputation that follows him. And after I found out..." I trailed off, rubbing my fingers along the rim of my glass, watching the condensation smear under my touch. "I'm not sure I know him at all."

Lisa reached across the table, placing her hand over mine. "Cassie, you're telling me you trust those stories more than your own experience with him? Because from what I saw, he was crazy about you. And that says a lot about someone who seemed to be cold and stern when he first arrived."

Her words hit me hard, and I bit my lip. "But what if I was just another... conquest? Men like him—they're used to getting what they want. Maybe he got what he wanted from me, and that's it."

Lisa's face softened, her tone gentle but firm. "Cass, when you were alone, just the two of you, how did he make you feel?"

I thought about all those moments we'd shared. The way he'd looked at me, the calm strength in his eyes. I thought about how I'd felt—safe, like I could finally stop thinking, stop worrying. I could let go, even of my own insecurities. "He made me feel... safe," I whispered. "Like I didn't have to be anything other than what I am. I could let go, just... surrender."

"Then believe that, Cassie. The connection you had, that's real. Don't let some newspaper articles change your view of who he was to you."

I felt a tear sting the corner of my eye and quickly brushed it away. "Maybe you're right," I said softly, my voice barely audible over the hum of the bar around us. I wanted to believe it. I wanted to reach out to him, but something in me held back. Pride, maybe. Or fear. Probably both.

Lisa gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Just... think about it, okay? The person you were with, not the rumours. Or your other option is to date someone else and get the hurt fucked out of you" she smiled cheekily.

We sat in silence for a moment, and I could feel the ache settle back in, quiet but still there. The stubborn part of me wanted to prove that I could be fine on my own, that I didn't need him. But the truth was, I did miss him. More than I could admit, even to myself.

"Maybe," I said finally, my voice barely more than a whisper.

For now, I'd sit with the ache. It would be enough.