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i apologize for my absence

I am sorry I haven't posted in so long and not updated any of my stories or made new ones. Every time I get back to doing it I literally end up busy asf and I don't know why. First I had my aunt, uncle and cousin visit after my doctors appointments two days before the visit then I ended up in the freaking hospital, I've been cleaning the apt like deep cleaning everything making sure everything is very clean we also have inspection coming up, I have another doctors appointment tomorrow and I've been in the hospital a lot lately because of allergic reactions, I ended up in the hospital cause I broke out in hives for no reason and we went to a different hospital since we're trying to figure out which one will see us quickly and actually help me try to figure out what the hell is going on with me which the doctor I'm seeing tomorrow is an allergy doctor, but we also need to get a referral to a neurologist see if what's happening is neurological then my mom want to go to another doctor see if I have anything physically wrong with my like if I have an illness I don't know about which all this shit worries me and scares me because I keep having the damn episodes where I'm having allergic reactions, my mom also thinks on top of that I might be getting absent seizures which scare me and what makes it more terrifying my autistic brother (we're both autistic)  has seizures, and seizures are also hereditary in our family, autistic people also have a good chance of having them as well which is why she Thinks I'm also having seizures but what made it more scary was my mother explained the weird symptoms I had, like numbing and tingling of my face and tongue, or it feels like it's swelling when it's not, I get dizzy and nauseous and she said the first time I had a really bad reaction which was the first time it lasted an hour and more, I was slurring and I was having trouble speaking, in which my mom asked my older brother who has seizures is they felt like that and he said it does, but she didn't tell him that it was the same stuff I was feeling till later because she wanted to make sure he didn't freak out or panic.. And it's terrifying the thought of seizures and allergic reactions at the same time is scary because I don't know what to do at this point.. It terrifies me.. But anyway that's what's been going on lately, I'm sorry if this is like a vent or something I just felt like I needed to explain why my dumbass hasn't been on in so long. I apologize for my absence I really do, I just can't control anything around me anymore or if I'm busy or not or if I get those weird episodes or I've got writers block, a lot of shits been going on and I hate talking about it to people but I felt I needed to explain some things to at least get y'all to understand why I haven't been posting for a while.