Part 17

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"Abel I

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"Abel I..." I started and looked up from my pizza.

He smiled at me, looking expectantly at me.

"I uh..." I swallowed something and cleared my throat. "I used to be in a weird place. I was still in it when I met you. And I'm... Not there anymore. I think. And you helped me get out of that place."

He tilted his head to the side a little. "What was that place?"

"It was just after my dad died, I uh... I just got into this weird place. I did everything to not be lucid. Even after the bite. But you've helped me wanting to be lucid again."

Abel put his hand on top of mine, resting on the dinner table. "You can tell me to shut up at any point, but... What did you do to not be lucid?"

I clenched my jaw and stared at our hands. We had started this with our hands intertwined and we had continued the same way. We were just that kind of couple who'd always hold hands. It was very comforting.

"Everything you're imagining, probably," I muttered and turned our hands, so mine was on top and his was under mine. "Mostly partied a lot. Every day, really. I wasn't sober most of the time."

Abel moved his thumb over my hand, silently encouraging me to keep going.

"I know I'm... Like really shit with words and saying important stuff. But I wanted you to know that I... I really love how everything's turned out now. With you."

"Almost sounds like you're dying," he said teasingly, a fang slipping over his bottom lip. "Or leaving me."

"No, you idiot. I just wanted to tell you that.... That I'm really happy."

"It's very romantic. Love the way you say you love me." He was grinning really goofily, and I actually appreciated how he'd make everything just a little less serious. He knew this was hard and I wanted the tension to disappear.

"I'm glad you're happy though," Abel said then, sobering a little. It was serious-time now. "Not that I was doubting it. I did think you'd say something if you weren't."

"Who knows with me. I'm an idiot," I muttered and shrugged, poking at my food with my fork.

"You keep things interesting." He winked at me.

I snorted and shook my head. I wouldn't say my angst kept things interesting. More like it kept everything very, very hard.

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