Shards of Sugar (Poetry Book Three)

150.) bye II

I've always been myself, I and me.
Even through shyness and anxiety I was still me.
Even through the dark times, I still looked to luminosity.
But then I got comments from a loser who never knew me.
A guy who had never even met me.
Reminding me of the pain from someone way too close to me.
But that was all many years ago, thankfully.
I was sick of this idiot disbelieving in me.
This one idiot ignoring my truth as lying pleads.
I was sick of having to prove my heterosexuality.
Don't you ever mistake my big heart for femininity.
It's not my fault that I am a rare and precious breed.
I bet and know you can't find anyone like me.
You can search the other fishes in the sea. But there are few who are anything like me.
Because I have always been myself, always me.
It's not my fault if you can't appreciate my authenticity.
Not my fault if you have a narrow one-track mind that can't see
any other kind of person except for the first one you did see.
I am not a basic bozo, they're too dull and they bore me.
Any and all haters are just jealous because they want to be like me.
But I have people in my life that appreciate me
for being myself and not a clone of your average Timothy.
I don't care if you think I sound like a Pick Me.
I will never be like them just so people can pick me.
And if you dislike my nature, I'll cut you off immediately.
I don't need unnecessary and vile scrutiny.
I am just the gentle, mellow, compassionate kind.
I just like to be truthful and opinionated but kind.
Nowadays, I do not hesitate to speak my mind.
Nowadays I realise I am not one of a kind. There other people like me
living out their dreams by being truly free. I'm just like my paternal grandfather in nature, can't you see?
You can't be blind for all the personalities that Allah gave us all so beautifully and differently.
And I will never let anyone change me.
I don't need to get defensive because my actions speak for me.
If you have a problem with my Islamic conservative beliefs
then what you really have an issue with is diversity.
The world is so much more than you're willing to see.
You think everyone's in your bubble, heck no, don't be silly.
I am proud of every single part of me
every piece of me works in harmony
There's no cognitive dissonance in me because I am not contradictory.
If you don't agree with me, then let's agree to disagree.
If you cut me off for who I am then you can bite me.
But I've reached a point in my life where you can't prove me wrong,
I've reached a point in life where you can't tune out my bird song.
I've reached a point in my life where I no longer care.
I've reached a point in life where I am eloquent and fair.
I've reached a point in my life when everyone's on my side.
I've reached a point in my life when no-one even dares.
Because I can turn on my reasonable, truthful wisdom swiftly.
I can bring out my angry, fury, and scary.
I am not shy anymore, I am glowing shades of me
that you insecure losers have never before seen.
You can envy how my grass is on my side, how green.
But you should be grateful
for your own lives, your own gardens flowery.
You should be thankful, hopefully gratefully.
you should be grateful, hopefully genuinely.
I only care about those close to me,
my friends and family.
People I've actually met, who actually know me
I don't need your clownery.
Go back to the circus of which you came. Wash away all that projection, quit being so lame.
You can't play with me, I am not a game. But say whatever you want to me I don't need validation.
Keep drooling in jealousy, you can't hide all that salivation.
But thankfully, this is like a letter to that loser from the past.
No-one else shared your opinion, no-one even asked.
I'm sorry
your immaturity
has stuck you in the past
probably, most likely,
I doubt you've grown too, how yucky.
Funny thing is I never even knew your name. You didn't even know my name either, so where did you get the nerve, the audacity? The temerity
of the foolish,
I'm sorry
your mummy and daddy
didn't give you any attention.
I'm sorry
the people around you didn't show you appreciation
or love or admiration
or any form of validation.
You were just mad that you were boring
and had no hobbies, had no life,
you were always snoring.
Maybe that's why everyone told you to shut up.
You snored so loud you got boos from the whole crowd.
Why were you arguing with me online
were you lacking in your real social life?
I highly doubt you even had much of a life.
I bet you were a discord mod always online.
I bet you're in rock bottom, so it's time to get up
and head up
and go up
by growing up.
No but seriously
I hope you've grown up
I'm just kidding, that was a lie.
I couldn't care less about a boy who's name I never knew
of a boy who never knew my name or met me physically so bye.
The memories I have of the argument and your accusations can forever die.