Spiderweb of Lies

Chapter 4

My breathing was getting more and more ragged as I thought about this concept. This was too strange. It was true that I looked nothing like any of my family members but I always classed that to the fact that I probably had recessive genes.

"Ihme?" Answered a worried sounding Jam from the speaker of my phone "Your not having a panic attack are you? Oh God. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I'm coming straight over!"

I lay down on my bed trying to take deep breaths as I had been instructed. It was very hard when images of my mother and this mysterious Barry kept popping into my head.

My door was burst open and a red-faced Jam ran in. He placed a cold hand underneath me, on the small of my back and held me up in a seating position. With his other hand he stroked my hair whilst telling me to breath deeply and not to worry as he was there.

I began to calm down and my breathing slowed down. Wrapping my arms around Jam's neck, I let silent tears fall down my face.
I always got so scared after my panic attacks. I've had then since I was very little and they were terrifying.
When I was younger I had panic-attacks quite regularly, but as I had grown my attacks had been occurring less and less.
Jam had been my best friend since nursery and had helped me through the majority of them. Every time the same, he would hold me up, stroke my hair whilst reassuring me, then he would cuddle me until I had cried myself out, after which we would remember a memory of us together, taking my mind of whatever had made me have the panic-attack.

"Do you remember how we became best friends?" He asked in a soothing voice, retelling one of our favourite memories "It was our first day of nursery. You arrived. then disappeared for a while. I didn't understand so I became a secret agent. I followed you around for the whole day with a pair of binoculars and green paint on my face. I thought I was a proper ninja as you hadn't noticed me yet. Then I tripped over my un-done shoe laces and lost sight of you. I turned around and there you were, with a bucket full of sand in your hands. You said "Stop following me around weirdo" then tipped the whole thing on my head. I was so shocked I didn't make a noise. When I came to my senses again, I was about to hit you when I noticed that you had disappeared again. Feeling a tug on my shoelaces, I looked down to see you tying them into the neatest bows I had ever seen. You stood up again and gave me a hug saying "There, now we're even". We've been friends ever since"

Still holding me up, he smiled at me, before we said in unison "Best day ever"

"You OK now?" He asked checking me up and down.

"Yeah, thanks Jam. It's just, if the whole affair thing is true, then, well, I have a father out there who I know nothing about. Do you think he knows about me? Do you think he even cares?" 

"I'm sorry short-stuff, I can't answer you questions, but I do have a question for you. Do you want me to stay over tonight?" Said Jam still looking a bit worried.

"If you would" 

"OK, I'll notify my Mum whilst you blow up the air bed" ordered Jam

I turned and watched as Jam left the room.
I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.