Self-Control

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She needed to get a grip on herself. Eliza pulled herself up off the mattress and tried to ignore the way her ears perked up the moment she heard footsteps anywhere in the house. It felt like she was keeping track of where everyone was and she hated that. Why couldn't she be normal and not stress out the moment he was in the house? Why did her heart rate need to escalate to an ungodly level simply because she was in the vicinity of Walker?

The short answer is because she was never "normal." Eliza knew she was gifted. She had always had a sixth sense, a strong intuition that helped her navigate the world. And when it came to Walker Andrews, her intuition seemed to kick into high gear. It wasn't just that they always seemed to be in each other's orbits. It was that when Eliza was around him, everything seemed to stop. It's like all the buzzing of the world ceased to exist and she could exhale, really, truly exhale. She spent so much of her life feeling different, and buzzy. It kind of felt like her feet were never fully on the ground. But around Walker she seemed to come right back down to Earth because he tethered her there. In his presence, she felt her feet firmly planted and she never seemed to be able to achieve that sensation without his help.

"Eliza, let's go dinner's ready!" She heard her mom call up the stairs. Eliza groaned. It wasn't even four hours into this weekend and she felt exhausted.

"I'm coming, give me a minute." She hauled herself off the mattress and went to look in the bathroom mirror. The beach had swept her hair into a rats nest so while she thought she had looked wind swept, she came across as being swept out to sea instead.

"Good god." She pulled the scrunchie out of her hair and tried dragging a brush through it but it was little use. She grabbed a headband from her drawer and used it to push her hair back off her face. She hoped it came across like a carefree choice and not an emergency one. After swiping water across her face she took a deep breathe.

"It's going to be fine." She said to herself in the mirror.

"We can do this Eliza. You're a big girl." She nodded back at her reflection and turned on her heel. Leaving her bedroom she saw a figure remarkably similar to Walker's coming from the room next door.

"Hey, you might want to grab a sweatshirt, it got cold out." He held up his own indicating his reason for being upstairs. Eliza hoped he hadn't heard her entire hyping speech.

"Oh right, sure thanks."

"But you're a big girl, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that." He grinned in that devilish way she knew so well and her insides churned in embarrassment.

"You heard my pep talk?" They were hovering around each other, not quite close enough to touch but not far enough away to be polite. She could practically feel the buzz of electricity and she tried to ignore it.

"Just caught the end of it. Not sure what you needed hyping for but if you ever need a hype man, I'm your guy." He gently nudged her and headed down the stairs. She went to follow.

"E, your sweatshirt." He waved his over his head without even needing to turn around. She hated how in tune he was with her.

"Shit, yep be right down."

---

Eliza took her seat at the dinner table next to her mom who was conveniently at the opposite end of the table from Walker.

"Well, cheers to another summer. Walker, Benji, Cassie – welcome to our home." Mark raised his glass and the entire table toasted to another summer weekend kickoff.

"So Eliza, Millie said you've just finished your MBA. Congratulations!"

Eliza blushed under her sunburn, she hated public attention.

"Thank you."

"We're very proud of her." Mark raised his glass once more to his daughter's accomplishments.

"You did it at Columbia right? That's a big deal." Benji took a bite of his pasta. Steak was on the barbecue and Tim was in charge of making sure it didn't burn.

"Yea, it was great. I really enjoyed it."

"Our first Ivy league graduate. Maybe Millie will go back one day." Mark interjected as Margot rolled her eyes.

"I highly doubt that Dad. I don't have a reason to go back. I like what I do and being stuck in a classroom for three years feels absurd. No offense Eliza."

"None taken." Eliza let her sister's commentary brush off of her. She had heard this particular conversation topic before and knew where it was going. It started with Millie's job and ended with Mark plotting for his daughters to take over the world without asking them what they really wanted.

"You say that now, but you have to plan for five years out. You have to be ready to change course and have the skills you need when the time calls for it."

As if sensing the tension rising from one end of the table, Benji sought to keep the peace.

"I have my MBA and I have to tell you, I don't use it. And in Cassie's line of work she doesn't need it either. Most people I know don't really need it. They do it for pride at this point."

"Is that what you did it for Eliza?" Walker's voice rang down the table and she ignored the hairs standing up on her arms.

"Kind of. My firm said it would look better if I did it. Better options for promotions and stuff like that. Plus they said if I got into a good school, they'd pay for it. So it was a no brainer. But I could see people not enjoying it considering it's a ton of work and you don't really have any time for yourself because you're meant to be socializing and making connections."

"And meeting husbands." Margot chimed in. "Look at how many of your friends met their significant others in school. I'm not sure how you managed to graduate without a boyfriend."

"She had a boyfriend, remember? There was that guy Tom." Millie was answering for her, something Eliza hated but she didn't feel like protesting.

"What happened to Tom?" Walker sounded curious but Eliza was cringing on the inside. The last thing she wanted was for Walker to learn about her dating history from her sister."

"It just didn't work out." She tried to say as casually as possible.

"More like Eliza did what she always does. Gets scared when things get serious and breaks up with perfectly good men."

"That's not fair." Eliza felt the heat rising to her cheeks. Why did Millie make it a point to embarrass her at what felt like every turn?

"It's not untrue is it though? There was Tom and before that you broke Chris' heart into a thousand pieces. Then there was Jordan who never stood a chance and then there was..."

"I think we get the point Mil." Thank god for Tim and his common sense to save Eliza from her misery.

"I wouldn't stress too much about not meeting your husband in grad school. Look at Cassie and I. We met on a whim and you never know when you'll meet the right person." Tim put an arm lovingly around the back of Cassie's chair and everyone awed the way you do when couples are being sweet. Eliza couldn't help herself. She looked up at Walker and caught his eye. For the briefest moment everything stopped and then just as suddenly her attention was being pried away from his eyes by the sound of someone saying her name. 

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