It Had to Be You

Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

The next morning Eliza padded downstairs to the kitchen, careful to not make too much noise on the stairs. She had called it an early night, begging excuses to get out of hanging out with everyone. It's not that she didn't like them, she just didn't want to be under Millie's gaze. When her parents left to take a walk she said she was tired and went upstairs climbing into bed by 9 pm. She could hear the easy laughter and chit chat from outside her open bedroom window. The summer breeze was just cool enough to sleep with the window open and she enjoyed the idea of falling asleep to the sound of muffled voices,. It reminded her of childhood.

She walked as quietly as she could through the open living room where her yoga mat waited for her patiently. She would have a full day well before anyone else in the house was awake. She was an early bird and she doubted given how late they had all stayed up that she would see anyone before 10 am.

She set the coffee pot to on and put in her headphones. Taking a cross-legged seat on the mat she zoned in to the Peloton instructor cueing her breathing. This was her favorite part of the morning. When she was still somewhat sleepy but her body woke up with movements that seemed to awaken her soul and mind at once. She inhaled on the rise, exhaled on the fold of each sun salutation. She luxuriated in the feeling of her arms raising to the sky and her back arching during an upward dog. Being on the mat was a sacred experience and she enjoyed doing it in the relative solitude an early morning allowed.

An hour later, Eliza dragged herself up from savasana where she may or may not have dozed off. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. The morning sun had risen enough to cause spots of sunshine to dance across the floor boards. She could hear her parents shuffling around upstairs and she headed for the kitchen. Her coffee was ready and there was a cup set out. That was odd, she hadn't taken one down before she began her practice, had she?

Eliza poured her coffee and made her way outside onto the back deck. She wanted to sit back in her favorite Adirondack chair and enjoy the tranquil sounds of mother nature waking up.

"Hey there," the sound of Walker's voice caused her to jump nearly spilling her coffee.

"I didn't see you there." She looked around. No one else was out here with him and the intimacy felt too good to be true.

"I walked right past you during warrior three but your head was down. I didn't want to disturb you."

Eliza walked over to the chair next to him and tried not to notice how their arms would brush if she put hers on the arm rest.

"How do you know what warrior three is?" She sipped her coffee and tried to relax.

"I've taken a yoga class or two."

"You've taken it or your ex-girlfriends have?" She didn't know where that came from.

"Ouch. Sure they might have been into yoga but I also have actually done a class once or twice. Give me some credit, E." She glanced out of the corner of her eye and he looked hurt.

"Sorry, you're right. I shouldn't accuse you of only liking yoga because you liked a girl in the class. Don't want to stereotype you." He didn't answer right away and she held her breath in the pause.

"I mean, you're not wrong. I did go to my first yoga class because of a girl but you've got me out to be this player or something. I'm a one woman guy."

"I never said you were a player." She shifted in her seat to try and face him. He looked sad and somewhat offended but Eliza was having a hard time reading his cues.

"This time." She felt defensive at his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means every time I'm nice to you, you bite my head off about who I'm dating or really who you think I'm dating. And it's never a kind image you have of me. You always paint me out to be some sort of player who uses women and then discards them and I have to tell you, you couldn't be more wrong."

Eliza sat back in her chair breathless. It had never occurred to her that her observations about Walker, spoken or otherwise could be miscalculated or even worse, misconstrued. She was trying to make sense of him but in the process she saw she had hurt him.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't judge you so harshly."

"Thank you, but that's not really an apology is it?" Eliza racked her brain trying to figure out what Walker wanted her to apologize for. She didn't understand.

"What do you mean it's not an apology? I said I was sorry for judging you."

"Yes but you didn't say you were sorry for mischaracterizing me. Some would even call it character assassination." Now Walker had turned to face her causing their knees to bump.

"Character assassination? Now you're just being dramatic." Eliza rolled her eyes.

"Eliza, look at me." She stopped looking anywhere but at him and tried to meet his eyes.

"Do I look like the kind of man that runs through women? Do I look to you like some untrustworthy asshole who is just looking for a hookup and not caring about other people's feelings?" He looked at her earnestly and for the first time in what seemed like years, she looked at him, really looked at him. He had gotten a bit gray in the years since they'd met but his eyes were still shining, if slightly sad looking at the moment. His well-worn crewneck had a tear at his neck that she desperately wanted to touch. She wondered if that was from years of being pulled on or better, being pulled off.

"Well?" He dragged her attention back to his original question and she pulled her brain away from what was underneath his choice of pajama tops.

"Well you don't look like a sociopathy. I'll give you that." She tried for sarcasm but fell horribly short.

"Jesus Eliza. You really just don't get it do you."

"Get what?"

"Nothing forget it." He sat back in his chair and let out a long sigh.

Eliza took her cue from him and sat back as well, pretending to listen to the birds fluttering across the yard but really listening to the steady rhythm of Walker's breathing to even out her own.