It Had to Be You

Recovery

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit." Eliza whispered into her phone from the bathroom, in the tub behind the shower curtain. She wasn't quite sure how acoustics works but she figured running the sink behind two sets of closed doors and a shower curtain had to help muffle her voice somewhat.

"Holy shit is right." Her best friend Maria shot back. Eliza could hear her clanging around her kitchen in Brooklyn trying to get dinner in the oven.

"I can't believe that just happened."

"This might be better than the first time it happened." Maria sounded excited. She was the only person Eliza had ever told about her original kiss with Walker.

"I think it is. I mean holy shit. Who does that?"

"Who just throws a person up against a counter in the heat of a passionate make out? I don't know, that's the stuff out of rom com for sure."

"What do I do?" Eliza lowered her voice and crouched lower in the tub. She could hear voices outside in the upstairs hallway.

"Throw yourself at him? Seduce him? Break into his room at night and take him right there?"

Eliza was practically blushing at the thought.

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I." Maria deadpanned. "What else are you supposed to do? This whole 'will they won't they' thing has to come to an end sometime right? Might as well be now." Eliza could hear her pulled trays out of the oven.

"What are you making for dinner?"

"Don't change the subject." Maria was onto her.

"Sorry, you're right. I can't just hide in here for a bit longer?"

"No Eliza, you can't just hide in a bathtub because some guy you really like likes you back."

"Well when you put it that way..."

"Get out of the tub already."

"Fine." Eliza stood up stretching her stiff body and turned the sink off. She could do this. She could face him.

"I've got to go anyway. Love you keep me posted! Have his babies!"

"Don't wish babies on me right now."

"You're right. I wish super hot life changing sex for you."

"Thank you so much. Love you too." Eliza hung up the phone and looked at herself in the mirror. What was she supposed to do now? The logical thing would be to resume her normal life. She could go downstairs and pretend nothing happened.

Or so she thought. When Eliza got downstairs everyone looked forlorn.

"What happened?" She looked around the room to find it missing one key person.

"Walker's grandmother died." Eliza heard the words but couldn't process what was happening. She looked back at Benji's face trying to understand what he was saying.

"Oh god. Where is he now?" The kitchen was filled with everyone except him but he had to be around. He couldn't have disappeared that quickly. She was only upstairs for a half hour.

"You just missed him. He took an uber to the train and is headed back to the city. He needed to get some stuff from his apartment before he headed home for the services.

Eliza nodded along, unfeeling but knowing she should feel something. Grief was a tricky emotion for her. She could feel sympathy when she used logic to back her way into it but the physical experience of grief was something that had always evaded her. Walker was gone and she didn't get to say goodbye. Surely she should send him a text to let him know she was thinking of him but she couldn't quite grasp what was socially acceptable so in the end she did nothing at all.