pretty thoughts
" You looked at me with certainty
I, I couldn't look away
Took your jacket off like
Like you were here to stay "
There was loud banging on my door and I should have known that it was you. I tried my hardest closing the door back but somehow you pushed your way into my living room. I could tell that you were drunk; anybody could smell the alcohol off your clothes. Then you began taking off your shoes and coat as if you lived here too. I just shook my head before I raced up to my room and locked the door with tears welling up in my eyes.
" Chasin' your pretty thoughts
And your plastic love
There goes my mind
Let it go "
I tried going to sleep but you were still here and I didn't have the courage to tell you to leave either. After awhile, you finally staggered your way to my room and began knocking on the door. I could hear your subtle pleads behind my door and you even promised to kick down the door too. I knew you were serious but I laughed anyway.
" You're that lace trimmed danger
One day you'll be the face of a stranger
Stranger, stranger "
I never opened the door but I sat beside it and we talked to each other through the door. You told me that you missed me so much. I shook my head because I didn't believe you but your broken voice told another story. But, I told you that I was finally moving on. I just buried myself in all of my school work and I began hanging out with my friends more. I planned on forgetting you, Mats. Oh, you didn't like that and began cursing angrily in German.
" I couldn't look away
Chasin' your pretty thoughts
You're mine, you're sinking in my soul
Chasin' your pretty thoughts
No I couldn't look away "
I just listened to you curse and then you began breaking down. You cried for me to open the door and of course, it was heartbreaking to hear you cry. Then you began telling how you couldn't live another minute without me in your arms and that you couldn't breathe without me. Memories flashed back in my mind and I remembered all the things you told me as we laid together on my unmade bed. Our favorite place.
I finally got up to opened the door and I saw you siting there with your head buried in your hands. You quickly looked up at me and I saw the tears in your eyes. Your hands gently pulled me down and you wrapped your arms around me tightly.
" In intervals you're sinkin' in
You're sinkin' in my soul
Thought to myself:
"Don't, don't you lose control "
I didn't hugged you back but I just sat there in your arms and my head against your chest. I began losing control of my thoughts and emotion and my tears dripped onto your cotton shirt. We're both a mess as we sit here in the middle of my hallway.
" Started to undress you, with my wandering eyes
Told myself you'd be gone by sunrise "
Somehow we ended up on my bed kissing and I knew how your lips missed mine. Your large hands found their way around my hips and onto my ass. Clothes started disappearing as the moonlight peered through the window. Is this really going to solve all our problems, Mats? You're just going to leave in morning with no words or a piece of remorse. But, maybe you'll be gone forever. No more trouble, right?
" You're mine, you're sinking in my soul
Chasin' your pretty thoughts
Chasin' your pretty thoughts "
