A Messy (Not Reliable) Guide to Situationships

6. The Aftermath

Three weeks after Tony's birthday I was still sort-of-not-really dating Alex. He called me on my landline a few times (this was before everyone in Cuba had access to the internet). Our conversations were often short, but he sometimes revealed little things about himself:

1. He loved his career and his family.
2. He preferred dogs to cats
3. He thought I had a great body and a cute face.
4. He hadn't been in a relationship since high school because his ex broke his heart.

I found out this last fact after a lot of prying. By the third week of our situationship I was determined to change his mind on commitment. If he called me so often and we'd gone to two parties together as more than friends, then that had to mean something. He was probably just scared of falling in love.

In early October Alex invited me and Alexa to a game night in Tony's apartment. Tony was away for a tournament and Alex had to look after the place. It was supposed to be like 15 people but it ended up being only seven. When Alexa and I got there there were three guys and one girl. The girl was wearing an oversized shirt that she had obviously not arrived in.

Alexa sat at the table, joining the group for a round of a card game I cannot recall. I decided to follow Alex into the kitchen and ask a question that was bugging me

Me: Who is the girl?
Alex: She is a friend of mine.
Me: Just a friend?
Alex: Yes
Me: She's wearing your shirt
Alex: She came in her work clothes and showered here. I gave her a shirt to wear so she wouldn't be uncomfortable

I didn't know what to say. His explanation made sense and I really didn't have a right to be upset.

Alex: Cali, you know I'm not your boyfriend, right?
Me: Of course I know that
Alex: I like my life the way it is. No strings attached. No commitment.
Me: I like that too
Alex: Good. Then we're on the same page.

But we weren't on the same page.

October came and school was proving to be extremely difficult. I wasn't studying as hard and it was showing. One afternoon I was attempting to memorize grammar rules in Russian when I got a notification on my phone. I had been added to a WhatsApp Group by some friend of Alexa's.

I didn't speak in the group chat, just read over the conversations. I recognized one of the members
as Eddy, Alex's frenemy. The next day someone brought up a topic I was interested in so I joined the conversation. Eddy recognized me as one of the girls Alex had brought to the party and messaged me privately.

We started chatting and Eddy confessed he had just recently decided to take a break from his girlfriend, Abigail. They had been together for a year and it wasn't working out anymore. I didn't know why he was trauma-dumping on me but I didn't mind. It was good gossip.

A few days later, I brought up the topic of Alex. I decided to be honest with him as he had been with me. I told him about my relationship with Alex and how I wish it was more.

Eddy told me he and Alex used to be very close but then Abigail came into the picture. They agreed to respect whoever she chose to be with but Alex didn't take it well when Abigail chose Eddy. Their friendships had been off ever since. That's when I realized the real reason nothing more could ever happen between me and Alex: he was in love with someone else.

It was hard not to dwell on this. But I had to accept that Alex had a past he was not over yet. Sometimes you walk into people's lives a few beats too late. I vowed right then to focus on school and not get distracted by a guy ever again.

The 2019 Camping Trip was scheduled for late October. I knew a lot of the people that were going, including Alex, Eddy, Tony, Rony and most of my classmates, so I was very excited about it. Alex and I were technically going together but I knew better than to expect him by my side for the whole trip. Alexa and I were staying with Alex and a few of his friends but we also had Tony and Rony's cabin if we needed someplace else to crash.

I was determined to find someone else to make me forget about Alex. And oddly enough, that wish partially came true.