Obsessed Mafia/Kim Namjoon FF

*part 6*

Hm... Hello everyone....
Ykw i am honestly sick with my life...
I feel like dieing...
Lot's of things are going in my life and i don't know how to deal with them...
I broke up!!... 3 months back...
And I am finding it hard to move on..
He was my first love ,yk...

And I got no one to share my pain with...
Yess , I have some people close to my heart...
Ik they'll understand me but I don't wanna burden them by telling all this shit...
But also I can't keep all this pain to myself....
That's why

I thought of sharing my problems with you guys....

Coz I love my readers....

And also I'll die if i keep on lieing about yess , I have moved on ..

Idk what to do... What to say...
Should I go back to him or not.
Ask for the reason, why he left me...
Or should I just focus on my future forgetting my past...
Idk...
I am just so fckin confused....
I love him , but lot's of questions are there in my mind...
That" does he even loves me " and all....

Idk......

But no worries, I'll still write a chapter for you guysss... As I said that I love you guysss...
So I can do this for you.. ryt...

Hehehehe....
Now
Enjoy
The
Rollercoaster
Of
Emotions...

Love yaaa!!..

=============================
Namjoon pov!!..

I literally lost my control when I saw him .....
I burst out!!...
But ig ... This scared my pixie so much!!.. she literally started to cry!!..

I knew she's sensitive, and that's why I always try to calm myself whenever I am around her....

It's been more than a month , we are living together , but she's still scared of me...!!..

Huh!!..

Rn...
I am sitting infront of pixie , on the floor and she is sitting on the bed...

I hold her hands and starts to stroke them gently ....

And she is weeping... Trying hard to stifle her sobs which made me feel a pang in my heart...

Look, Kim namjoon how scared she is from you now!!...
Ahh!!..
You dumb men!!...

I honestly wanna slap myself now....
She's crying infront of me... And that's too , becoz of me...
Ahh!!..

she was continuously looking down at her lap, ig ignoring the eye contact with me...

I gently held her chin but she flinched a little.... I make her look direct in my eyes, and i felt like killing myself....

Her eyes were teary , red , and swelled... Out of crying this long..

I cupped her Cheeks... And asked in the most soft voice....
Tried my best not to scare her more...

" What happen, pixie, why are you crying...huh??."
I asked and her eyes shut closed....
She starts to cry even more...

I panicked , stood up and settled down beside her on the bed...

I grab a glass from the night table and fill it up with water using the jug placed beside it...

I forwarded her the glass of water but she just keep on crying and crying....

I gently wipe her tears off from her face with my thumb .... And then said ..