Waiting For Superman

The Phone Call

     I rolled over, opening my eyes cautiously, giving them a fair opportunity to adjust the light before blinding them entirely. Only then, when nothing but darkness surrounded me, did I realize something was wrong. The noise I was hearing wasn't an alarm clock, but rather my phone, singing loudly.

     I pressed accept before I read the name on the screen, holding it to my face, letting out a groan. 

     "Hello?"

     "Is this Cassie?"

     "Yeah." I sat up quickly, concerned by the women's voice. It was one I had recognized, but I couldn't place my finger on it. I knew I had heard it before, but this time was different. Her voice was broken, shaky, and it was obvious she'd been crying.

     "Hi, Cassie. This is Mrs. Jacobson."

     "Is everything all right?" I was fully awake now.

      "Well, no." She sniffled, and there was a pause. I was sure she was crying hard now, unable to speak. "There was an accident."

     "Is Ryan all right?"

     "No," She said, and I felt my heart drop into my stomach, "I'm sorry sweetie. Ryan was killed." Instantly, as if someone turned on a faucet, I was crying, and not just the hushed sobs that you cried when you did something silly like stubbing your toes. These were the full on, someone died, can't breathe tears, and I was anything but hushed about it.

     I wanted to ask her how, but I knew that even if I could form the words to ask, which I probably couldn't, it wouldn't be fair for me to ask her to explain her son's death to me, when obviously this was a sore subject. "I was just on the phone with him," I told her, sniffling, panting. My eyes scanned over the clock across the room, the numbers glowing dim and red. I had spoken to him merely two hours before, when I was getting ready for bed.

     "Cass, you're a loser, it's like ten." He said playfully.

     "I'm tired." I defended myself, pretending to be offended, but secretly hiding a smile.

     "Come on, I'll pick you up." He had said.

     "I'm not going to some stupid party, Ryan. You shouldn't either."

     "Cassie," He whined at first, but when I answered with a 'no', he grunted and we bid goodbyes. I'll always remember his last words to me: I love you, Cassie. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

     I didn't know it then, but he wouldn't talk to me tomorrow. He wouldn't talk to me the day after that, or the following week. I'd never hear his beautiful voice again, singing to me when I was sad, holding me when some loser boyfriend dumped me for the 'prettier girl'. I'd never feel his breath against my neck when he ran up behind me to scare me, and I'd never see him and his friends driving in that pickup truck everyone knew.

     "I just talked to him," I mumbled again, realizing that he had probably been leaving the party early to come hang out with me like he usually did on Friday night's like this. Tonight was different, though, I had told him not to come to my house. I had work in the morning, I wouldn't be able to hang out and watch movies like usual. If I had gone with him, or I had invited him over after the party, maybe he'd still be here. What if this whole thing was my fault? "He can't be dead."

     "I'm sorry, Cassie. Call your friends and let them know, would you? I have others to call. I just thought you should be the first to know. He loved you a lot, Cassie. If you need anything, call me, okay?"

     "Okay." I sniffled, knowing I should probably say the same, apologizing to his mom. She was losing her baby, all I was losing was one of my best friends. Sure, it hurt like hell, but I couldn't imagine losing my child like this, so suddenly, without goodbyes. I wanted to tell her this, I wanted to tell her that if she needed anything to let me know, but I couldn't. All I could do is sniffle, and press the end button. I was lost.