𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ᶠⁱⁿⁿ ˢʰᵉˡᵇʸ

𝟏𝟒.

Finn's pov

It was now day four without Lily, and Finn was a wreck. There wasn't one day that went by where he wasn't drunk or high off cocaine. And during these days he had his family trying to search for him for those four days as he hadn't been home since the chat with Polly he had in the kitchen before standing up and walking out the door. Not saying another word and not bothering to look back.

Instead he had spent his days in the Garrison or walking around Small Heath making sure to avoid anyone he knew and letting his feet take him where they wanted too.

One night he had found himself in a dark and cold, wet alley way. And being far too high to care he slept there. Perching himself on top of a dry piece of cardboard in the corner.

Finn had also been avoiding his whole family for the time being. Even when one of them came to argue with the boy and tried to talk about Lily, he always seemed to brush them off as he didn't want to talk about the girl. And as many times his brothers tried to tell him otherwise, and as much as he didn't want to admit it he had to remind them that the girl was in fact dead.

The boy didn't know what to do with himself anymore. His best friend was gone. And the only thing he had left of her was her ghost that haunted him everyday.

Everywhere he looked, there she was. Taunting him, mocking him even. He felt hopeless and weak. He just wanted his Lily back. He wanted her to be back at the house waiting for him, ready to run and jump into his arms while he never let go of her, not ever. And he wanted Lily to be lying on his lap while he told her how much he loved her, even if she didn't believe it. He wanted to hear those words come out of her mouth too, he wanted to hear Lily tell him how much she loved and cared for him over and over again.

Only at night time when he closed his eyes to sleep could he see the girl in a way that he wanted to. Seeing her happy, enjoying life and seeing all the memories the pair spent together. And hoping that when he woke up the next morning she would be lying right next to him, and that it would all come true. But that never happened. Instead he woke up alone, in a state, with no one beside him.

He felt haunted by the girl, as when he was awake his mind couldn't help but go back to the night she was shot. Replaying the incident over and over again in his head. Seeing the bullet price through her back, seeing her fall to the ground but only for his brother to catch her in his arms before she hit the floor as he yelled. Hearing the screams from everyone around him and the cries from his family. Watching Tommy lay over the girl, holding her lifeless and fragile body as he sobbed, saying the same thing over again to the girl, but it being muffled to Finn as the ringing of his ears took over most of his hearing . 'It's ok, stay with me Angel, you're ok. Everything is going to be ok.'

And he still had purple bruises and cuts on both of his knuckles from the way he repeatedly punched the man time and time again, not wanting to stop, but being pulled away by his brother who quickly brought him in for a hug. And he could still hear the sound of his own cries as he fought back against both his brothers grip who had to hold him in the back seat, stopping him from running away. And the last thing he always saw was Lily being rolled out of the door, as even though Arthur tried to hug his brother to not let him see the scene in front of them, Finn still got a glimpse of the lifeless girl being taken away.

But the only way to calm his mind was to drink, and a lot of it. He drank almost every day and he always made sure he had a packet of snow in his pocket for the ready, which he used most days as being both drunk and high helped a lot. Even though some nights when he had too much, his mind seemed to get worse. The images repeating themselves over and over again. His mind going wild, vision going blurry as he could hardly be able to walk or talk, and to the point he would pass out as it got too much.

But today Finn had run out of snow, and he needed more, asap. And remembering where he kept his stash in the table beside his bed, he quickly rushed his way back home, sure that no one was in.

Before opening the front door he peered in through the downstairs windows, checking that no one was in. Once he was certain he would be alone, he took out his spare key from his pocket and went to put it in the lock, only to be rather thrown off at the fact the door was already open, as the rule was to never leave the door unlocked when no one was home, just like it had always been. But he quickly brushed it off being far too tired to care and made his way in, cringing as the door accidentally slammed behind him.

Slowly making his way up the stairs, trying his best to avoid the certain ones that creaked, which were the same ones that had gotten him in trouble many times before for giving him away when he was trying to sneak out to meet Lily.

He made it to his bedroom door, creaking it open slightly but once he was in he had noticed his bottom drawer was open where he kept his cigarettes, snow and flask. Worrying, he quickly rushed over and rummaged through it, making sure everything was still there. And he was far too focused on looking through the drawer that he hadn't heard his bedroom door creak open behind him. Instead he cursed to himself as what he was looking for was nowhere to be seen.

"Finn?"

He heard a voice behind him. His head shoot up as he recognised the voice almost instantly, thinking this was just his mind playing tricks on him. Before he heard it again. Was this real, or was this just another on of his stupid visions that he couldn't seem to escape from?.