1974 || 5SOS

Chapter 14

Scarlett

When I walked out of the building, Kitty was waiting for me, leaning casually against the wall with a cigarette between her fingers. Her eyes lit up when she saw me.

"Well? How did it feel?" she asked, a grin spreading across her face.

"We were told they'd call our agent to let us know," I replied, avoiding her gaze. My voice felt too even, like it didn't belong to me.

Kitty blew out a puff of smoke and gave a little twirl, walking on air. "God, wasn't that the most freeing thing you've ever done? Just imagine—next stop, a Playboy photoshoot."

I tried to match her enthusiasm, but the twisting in my stomach tightened. When I thought about modeling, I'd pictured runway shows and glossy fashion spreads, not... this. I'd never been good at letting go like Kitty was.

"Scarlett," Kitty said, her voice cutting through my thoughts like a splash of cold water. "You've got to lighten up, chic. You're living people's dream. Act like it!" Her laugh was airy, but there was a challenge hidden in her tone.

"I know," I muttered, forcing a smile. "But we're not going too far, are we?"

Kitty slung an arm around my shoulders, her energy pulling me forward as we started walking. "Look, Scar, life moves fast. You can either keep up, or you can stay stuck in the past."

I didn't respond. I couldn't. Kitty's words hung in the air, clinging to me like the faint smell of cigarette smoke on her jacket, lingering even as she moved on to talk about a party in the hills later that night.

When we got back to the house, I told Kitty I needed a shower and some rest before we went out. She didn't argue, disappearing into her room with a wave and her usual breezy energy.

In the bathroom, I stared into the mirror, the overhead light casting a harsh glare across my reflection. I reached up, rubbing my eyes, willing my reflection to change. When I opened them, all I saw was smudged brown eyeliner and a girl who looked as tired as she felt.

Two months ago, I thought I knew nothing about the world, about myself. And now? I wasn't sure if I knew any more than I had back then. If anything, I felt like I knew even less. I leaned closer to the mirror, tracing my fingertips along my face as if I could peel back the layers to find the real me underneath.

It felt like there were too many versions of me, all pulling at my skin, demanding I choose which one to become.

I turned away from the mirror. I turned the nozzle to the shower all the way up and stepped in, the water scalding as it hit my skin. I scrubbed at my arms, my shoulders, my neck—as if I could wash the day off, as if I could wash myself away. My mother's words floated through my mind, sharp and cutting like the edge of a knife. Whore. Slut. I scrubbed harder, my skin reddened more.

If she saw what her daughter did today?

I scrubbed harder, my hands trembling. It wasn't just her voice—it was the memory of her disappointment, her disapproval. I could almost see her expression, hear her clipped tone as she said my name like it was a reprimand.

A sudden knock on the bathroom door jolted me, breaking the spiral of my thoughts.

"Scarlett?" Luke's voice called out, muffled but unmistakable.

I froze, my heart hammering against my ribs.

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it tightly around myself as I stood in front of the door. For a moment, I hesitated. Then I pulled it open, letting the steam from the shower billow out into the hallway.