Guy From Nowhere

Chapter 6: G-Money And Burgers

I toss and turn in bed at around 9 am, sweaty and uncomfortable. I slowly get up and get dressed. No school or work today. I thought I would be much happier than this. I stretch and yawn. I made myself a bowl of cereal once again. 
Munch munch...
I tried playing video games after that to try and pass the time. But nada. I was so bored and lonely. I decided to send Gregory a message.

Stanley--10:25 AM
"Hey! What's up LOL!? Wanna come over?"

That was the corniest shit ever. I didn't expect much of a response since Gregory has a demanding social life with plenty of friends. Sure, he's my best friend but who knew if I was his. 

A few minutes later I got a knock at my door. I opened it. "Stannn mannn! What's up brother!" I smiled, "Hey, Greg." I let him in and he laid on my couch. "This is NICEEEE, So, that console, whatcha have?" 
I thought for a minute, "I have a couple of games we could play." We played a shooting game, we played for about 2 hours until Gregory got tired of losing. "GAH! Stanley, you didn't even tell me how to playyyyy... Unfairrrrr" I chuckled, "Hey, you gotta get a hang of it. I skipped the whole tutorial and learned to play it myself. Trust me, It's more fun that way." He smiled, "Sooo, Stanley, let's talk!! Who do we like, who we don't, comeee onnn. And, ouh! Do you have a girlfriend?" 
"Woah, woah, slow down bud, you're talking all at once, now." 
"Ah, well, the friend group isss pretty nice, you met 'em all, right?"
He nodded, "Okay, now tell me, which girl has caught YOUR eye!?"
"Ah.. um... none of them. They're just my friends."
Gregory shook his head, "tsk tsk tsk... I see, you're coming out. Always knew you had a spice of the rainbow... 'Stan man' is now 'Stan likes the man'..."
I near choked on my own spit, "Watch it, Greg... It's not like that!"
Gregory laughed, "Okay, so which MAN caught your attention, stan stan?"
"None. They're all just my  friends."
Gregory nodded slowly, "Okay, so, no girlfriend? Or boyfriend yet?"
I  shook my head.
"Eh, whatever. I don't have one either. And the friend group doesn't catch my  romantic interest either."
Then I realized... "How.. How did you know my address..."
"Dude, come on you nut job, you must've been DRUNK out of your MIND at the party. You told me it on the spot cause I double dog dared ya. I wrote it down in my notes."
"Well... Okay... What do you wanna do now? Kinda bored and I don't feel like video games."
Gregory's face lit up, "DUDE! We TOTALLY need to make the most DISGUSTING, GREASIEST, VOMIT ENDUCING MEAL EVER!!! Get your phone, we're ordering food, on me so you don't get all pissed."

My face as well lit up. 'This is pretty... EXCITING!'
Gregory murmured after, "Also add pepto bismol to the cart cause I know the trip to the bathroom isn't gonna be nice..."

We ordered the greasist burger known to man, a large cheese stuffed pizza, an array of sour candy, energy drinks, fries, wings, and sandwiches.

"Dudeeee, we are DEAD after this but hear me out..." He grabbed his burger, put pizza in between it as well as fries and wings; he put everything in his sandwich but the bread in it too, then, proceeded to put blue cheese and garlic sauce all over it. "This.. IS BURGERZILLAAAA!!!" I looked in utter DISGUST, but, I mean like, you gotta live a little. Even if you could possibly get constipated. "Wait!" Gregory paused. He grabbed a big bowl and put all the enegy drinks in there, he then put all the sour candy in. "Dude, we are LOSING it after this." I never felt so full after just looking at food in my life. "G-money, this shit is INSANE." Gregory nodded, "Yes, I know, and today, we will be eating it ALL. No food left behind!" He took a big bite of the burger. "God DAMN!" It took him quite a while to swallow and bite through it. "Dude, that was the most DISGUSTING and BEST thing I have ever had in my 19 and a quarter years of LIFE!" I took a bite of mine, in which, Gregory already prepared for me. My eyes lit up, "I feel so fucking American. RAHHHH!!!!!!" Gregory and I ate through the things, already bloated and filled up. "One last thing, Stan Man... The battery acid... Can we do the mission!?" I groaned, "G-moneyy, I'm already sooo full from burgerzilla..."

He patted me on the back. "Hey, we can do this." I nodded slowly and got up. I grabbed a cup and drank at it. Strangely enough-- IT WAS GOOD! Most definitely not for your health though. 
*Gulg gulg gulg...*
I heard Gregory gulping through that thing. We laid on the floor after "Stanley, I think I see colors." I grunted from being full, "All of that processed food is not getting along with my intestines..." Gregory held me, "Stanley... I'm.. I'm... GIVING BIRTH!!" He held on to my tightly and hysterically cried. "Gregory, you're male..." He then ran to the bathroom. I was glad I bought spray.

I laid on the floor, feeling like I was about to explode. Gregory came out a few minutes later. "Stan man... did you get the... pepto bismol..." I shook my head, "I forgot it..." Gregory shook me, "HOW COULD YOU!!!"
"Quit shaking me, you're making my stomach feel worse!!!" Gregory cried and laid back on the floor. "We're gonners.. I'm... we're.. Dying..." I felt myself get tired from food coma. "Gregroy... I thought food coma only happened once a year on Thanksgiving but I feel myself fading away..."
"NOOO STAN MAN!!! I CANT LOSE YOU! STAY STRONG SOLDIER!" I fell asleep.

I woke up hours later and found myself running straight to the bathroom. Let's just say the sewers experienced Hurricane Patricia quickly after. I got out. "Gregory.. I lived..." Gregory was asleep on my bed. "GREGORY!" I climbed up my bed "NO!" Gregory woke up. "Stan... we have GOT TO DO THAT AGAIN!" I shook my head "Nope." He laughed and got up. "I'm still bloated but at least it doesn't hurt. Hey, let's go to that place where you could see the view of the city! I think I might still have a few illegal fireworks back home!" I shook my head, "No fireworks but, sure, let's go." I drove us to the view.

It was just a parking lot next to a job corporation. But there was an edge, since it was so high up it was a hazard to sit there but dumb young people like me and Gregory didn't give a damn in the world. Gregory sat on the edge, his feet dangling. "Damnn, Stan, it's barely 5:30 pm. We made it JUST in time for the sunset." I sat next to Gregory on the edge. "Yeah, haven't really watched it since I was really young." 
"Imagine if like a huge gust of wind just flew at us and we fell and our like head blasted everywhere." I nudged Gregory. "Man, G-money, don't joke like that." Gregory laughed. "Whatever." The sun started to set. "Gregory..." I said, nervously. 
"Huh?"
I closed my eyes. "You'll always be my best friend, you know that, right?"

A memory hit me. I had a lot of trauma block, so, it was crazy to me. 

5 year old me, in a corner of a kindergarten classroom, alone. The kids giggling at me for the scars on my face. Tears running down my cheeks. 5 year old Gregory came up to me. "Hey, what's wrong?"  I looked up at him, eyes red from all the tears. "Everyone thinks I'm a freak. You do, too, don't you? You came here to insult me and call me mean things, didn't you? You're all so mean. Just go away." Gregory sat next to me. "I don't think you're a freak." He smiled at me, "My mommy always said to be kind to people. And I want to make my mommy proud." 
I sniffled and cried. "So, that's it? You just want to be nice to me because your mom told you? Go away." Gregory patted my back. "No, It's also because I don't want you to be alone. And as long as we are together, I'll be your best friend! You'll never be alone again! At recess we can play at the monkey bars if you want! Oh- or we can play jungle and find the lost treasure!" I wiped my tears. "Okay." He giggled, "You're my best friend! What's your name, best friend?" I smiled, "My name is Stanley."  
"I'm Gregory McConner!"

I started to open my eyes and look back at the view. Gregory looked at me, "You'll always be my best friend. As long as we are together, you'll never be alone!" I almost started bursting in tears. I put my arm around Gregory and he put his arm around mine. After the sunset was over, we went our separate ways and went home.