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𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫
The wound was getting worse and worse as the days went on. It was to the point that even Paul's presence didn't sooth the pain like it used to. Nothing was helping.
Instead of jolts of pain and dizzy spells, I was now in constant pain that had me feeling weak and sick. I couldn't keep down much food, everything making me feel nauseated and sick. I was wasting away.
This last week I couldn't even visit Bella like I'd planned on, my body too tired to get out of bed. I felt like the worst friend in the world for that. Just two weeks ago, I had promised to be strong for her, yet here I was falling apart.
Sue came and visited, giving me a check up and telling me that it would be okay. But we both knew that her words were a lie.
I didn't have much time left and that was equal parts terrifying as it was relieving. I was just so tired of the pain.
Currently I was sitting on the couch with Jake sat beside me and dad in the kitchen cooking. Paul had gone over to Sam's to check in and promised he'd be back later, but for now it was just my family and I.
A friends re-run was playing quietly in the background but I wasn't paying much attention to it, my mind was more focused on my impending demise. I worried about Jake and dad, what they'd do once I was gone.
They'd be okay, right? I mean, they had to be. The last thing I wanted was for them to fall apart because of me.
The idea of not seeing Jake graduate, or watch him join the pack, get married, have kids... I wouldn't get to see Rachel do those things either, and Rebecca was pregnant, would I live long enough to see my first niece or nephew? They didn't even know I was sick.
I had the sudden urge to call up my adoptive sisters and cry to them, but I didn't want to bother them. Rachel was busy at college and Rebecca was busy with her life. Why call them just to give them bad news?
"So, Paul has been around a lot recently," Jake broke me from my thoughts. "What's up with that?"
I felt my cheeks warm slightly and I wanted to curse myself for the reaction. The more and more time Paul and I spent together, it was easy for those old feelings to come back to the surface. But were those feelings ever truly gone? I hated to think that I might've harbored some feelings for my best friend while dating Emmett, but what Emmett did was worse, so it didn't matter anyways. Right?
"He's just worried about me," I defended, not wanting to admit to anything aloud.
Jake nodded slowly and I could see his eyes tracking my face before his brows furrowed in concern, "yeah, what's been going on lately? You don't look too good."
I wanted to tell him, but the words just wouldn't leave my mouth. It was like I physically couldn't push the words out. So instead I swallowed and said, "don't worry about me, I'll be okay."
