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𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫
Paul and I were sitting in my room, much like we had been these past few months. Only this time it felt a bit... awkward. I didn't know what to say or do, I felt too confused about the whole thing and since talking with Bella I felt... guilty.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, that there wasn't anything to feel guilty about. But her shame and the look she gave me when I told her about Paul... it made me question everything. Like, was it too soon to move on from Emmett? I stood by what I said at her house. Emmett left me and shouldn't have a say in what I do or who I see. But part of me does and always will feel loyal to him due to our bond.
But Paul and I have a bond too. One that's just as deep and confusing as the one with Emmett. Did that overrule any confusion? Did it make it all okay because we were bound together by a supernatural force? Did that overrule any breakup etiquette?
I didn't know how to talk to Paul about any of it, either. I didn't want to make him feel bad for our imprint bond, because it wasn't something either of us could control. I also don't want to make him feel like I'm still hung up on Emmett, because... well, I can't say I'm not hung up on the vampire, because a part of me always will be. Ugh, I just don't know what to do with any of this.
I let out a breath and lean against my headboard. Paul was sitting in the chair at the foot of my bed, his eyes half closed. He just got off of a four day patrol at the boarder and was exhausted. But he still came to see me instead of going home.
He look uncomfortable in the chair that was a bit too small for him, his shoulders slouched and his neck kinked. There's no way he was comfortable like that.
"Come here," I finally say with a sigh, shifting on the bed so that I was pressed against the wall. I lift the blankets and pat the bed beside me. "You need to get some sleep."
Paul looks at me for a moment. "Are you sure?"
I raise a brow, my lips tugging into a smile, "Paul, we've been sharing a bed for the last two months, it's okay."
Paul chuckled but stood up from the bed and came over to the bed, carefully lying down beside me. The heat from his body instantly warmed me and I instinctively curled against him, seeking his warmth.
I slowly turned onto my side and laid my head down on his chest, my arm draping over his stomach. "Is this okay?" I asked quietly when I felt him tense beneath me.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Paul's voice came out as a whisper.
I smiled to myself, my body and mind relaxing for the first time in days. I shouldn't be worried about what I'm supposed to be doing or what's wrong or right. Paul is mine just as much as Emmett was mine. The only difference is Emmett isn't here anymore and Paul always has been. He cares for me in ways that no one else ever has. I shouldn't overthink that.
