I Want To Dream Now

Chapter 9

Nobody noticed she hadn't arrived home. 

Charlene barely recalls what happened after she got hit across the cheek. She remembers vaguely leaving the bar, and collapsing in the town park beside the sleeping ducks. She remembers seeing other homeless people around, packed together tightly in their sleeping bags.

No-one asked if she was all right. No-one bothered to go after Olive.

"Maybe it is my own fault," she tells herself the next morning, "Maybe I'm the reason for everything."

She lost her key that evening, so she is left to climb in through the open bathroom window.

It is 10.10 am.

She hears her name being called, which only makes her head ring more.

"Charlene, Charlene," her mother says, "Breakie is ready..."

"Coming," Charlene spurts out, and rushes dizzily to her bedroom from the bathroom, but it caught around the arm on the way.

"Did you fall asleep in your clothes last night?" Her mother asks, smiling with surprisement.

Charlene continues cupping her cheek. "Ah, yes. I was really tired. Actually," she adds," I'm still quite tired so I might go back to sleep for a while."

"What about breakfast?"

"Um..."

"I'll bring it to you!" She says, smiling. 

"No," Charlene protests, her tone slightly aggressive. "I'm not hungry."

"But you didn't eat at all last night."

Charlene stares blankly at her bare toes, not saying anything.

Her mother shrugs. "OK, then. After a while."

Charlene nods, exhaling deeply. "OK."

She briskly walks toward her bedroom. She walks slowly over to the mirror, hesitating to lift her head and see herself. She looks then, and it isn't pretty, at all.

She can feel the tears beginning to well again, but forces them back. She realises a plaster will hopefully hide it.

Shortly then, her mother comes back in.

"Charlene? Sorry, can I come in?"

Charlene's heartbeat pounds once again, and she clenches her teeth. She hops quickly into her beds, hiding her damaged cheek with her pillow. She winces out in pain, and breathes heavily.

Her steps in, holding onto the door knob.

"Already in bed," she smiles.

Charlene forces a smile back. "Yep."

Her mother looks around the room, taking in everything that has changed. "At least you keep your room in order, I'll give you that."

She walks then over to the window, pulls down the blind and closes the curtains. "There," she says softly.

"Do you want a drink?"

Charlene's head spins at the word. She can feel a lump in her throat forming. She shakes her head.

Jillian nods. "OK...Look, Charlene. I just need to know something."

 "Yeah?"

"Yes," she repeats. "Did I do something to you last night?"

"What do you mean, Mom?"

She laughs quietly. "You know, did I offend you, hurt you...."

"No," Charlene replies firmly. "You did nothing."