What If...

Being Alone

As I in someway wronged God of what happened, this thinking began.

First of all, I need God to live; not God needs me, but I need God. So why mess with God when He is the one who holds the matter of life and death of you?

When I felt nothing was going my way, it was as if all the world I struggled to build in my head to live in, crumbled like the Walls of Jericho--all in the count of minutes. But then I thought, why did I build that 'world' of mine in the first place? Shouldn't God be the One--only One--who built my world? Who's supposed to shape me? Why didn't I let Him shape me in the first place? Dear reader, I'm telling you that trying to build your own 'world' would mean nothing except feeling awful and hopeless later on. Let Him shape you, and you won't feel hopeless and awful. Maybe we all could always feel that the journey's too tiring, that we want to give up. But when we are able to see His face, alas, shall us not feel any regret! His face is too beautiful, what He's done is powerful, and His divine love is too wonderful for us to hate God.

Okay, so. That loner part? Well yeah, maybe I seem like a sucker. But you know what? Who cares? I know it hurts a lot when they talk behind your back about what you've done. You feel like the culprit, when you've done nothing wrong. You seriously want to run away. But, dear reader, why should we care about who talks and babbles about us, about our wrongs, when we know we didn't want to do any harm to them?

I know, and we all know, that we want to knock some common sense to their heads, but if they don't care a tad bit what we do, I don't think they would want to hear what we say. We shouldn't press their brains, you see. Their pressure of being 'popular' is enough already. If they want some sense, they would ask you what you feel. Now, the question is, you don't even share your problems to them, right? I don't. That's why I'm not giving out any pearls to their mouths. But of course, I try real hard to pray for them every night. I try.

Maybe being a loner seems like it sucks so much. But come to think of it, you don't need to think so hard of what they watch, what they do, what they say, because you don't have a say in their lives. I personally, have more time to read, to play music, to write, to do so many stuff. God has His plans for me and I don't need any real friends for now. None worthy of being a real friend. I'm not an anti-social girl, and I know that someday, a real friend will show up. So, dear reader, if you're not anti-social but being bullied or pressed, keep calm and carry on! Whatever you're in for, remember to let God shape you or you'll feel hurt by yourself in the end.

If you think you're my real friend, that you don't go double standards, feel free to press the star button on the next page together with the others.

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The next is the final chapter, so be sure to read!
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