How Shadows Turn to Ash

Chapter 29: Antonia

Antonia watched the captain leave before slumping against the table, running her hands over her face.

The chair scraped from the end of the table. Nema's feet appeared in her peripheral view. "Antonia-"

"Is this why you wanted to go to Htraeh instead of Cambria?" Antonia asked, looking up. Nema's mouth dropped. "Have you been a Revolutionary all along? Are you-?"

"I'm not a Revolutionary." Nema knelt beside her. "I wanted to bring you to Htraeh because they made the prophecy. I was just born there, Antonia. I don't even-" Antonia pushed her chair back. "I am on your side." Nema moved to block Antonia from getting up. "If you want to go to Cambria, I will go to Cambria. If you want to learn how to use your magic, I'll help you. If you want me to never speak to you again, I'll give it my best shot." A long pause followed. Antonia avoided her gaze, but it was hard. Everything about Nema demanded attention in a way Antonia couldn't understand. "What do you want, Antonia?" she asked. At that, Antonia let her eyes move to study the few inches between. "Because I'll do it."

What did she want? Her father? Her sister? To know her brother and mother were alive? Her home? Or maybe just this knowledge of her magic? Maybe even some knowledge of herself.

When she opened her mouth, those weren't the words that came out.

"I want the Revolutionaries dead. I want my country back." Antonia licked her lips, looking down. "If Trajan is still alive... he needs a throne." She could still feel Nema's gaze on her. If she had any opinions on Antonia's words, she didn't reveal them. "I want to be the one to give that to him. To do something good with this," she said, holding out her palms. "I'm already living with Lucius's blood on my hands. I need to make sure it was worth it."

Nema looked down at Antonia's open palms and ran her fingers over them. The action sent a tingle through her, warmth flooding Antonia's cheeks.

"You are good," Nema promised and stood up. Antonia smiled weakly but followed suit, feeling like she could breathe again. No matter what the world may bring, she at least had Nema. It was the only reassurance she had in moments like this.

When they stepped outside the cabin, it was to find a crowd of people still huddled in the center of the boat. There was an odd mixture in the air, wariness as distrustful eyes watched her while admiration hovered somewhere in the corner. A couple of Romanovians bowed their heads. Cretara gave her a small salute in greeting.

Antonia met the eyes of the crew member who had been arguing with the woman the other night. He jutted out his chin indignantly. Antonia ignored him and walked to where the captain stood behind a large wooden wheel, looking out over a golden horizon.

"Your leg," she greeted. The Htraehean from earlier drifted closer, but she ignored him. The captain looked down and grunted. "You're limping."

"I am," he agreed. "I kicked a man in the face and pulled a muscle. It happens when you get older," he said wisely. Antonia felt the smoke in her hands begin to move. Again, that thread was between her fingers. It wasn't as natural as it was with the mermaids, but there all the same.

The smoke grew thicker.

A gasp sounded from somewhere behind her. The captain didn't flinch. He looked at her with thinly veiled interest. Someone gave a low whimper, but before Antonia could register that she had raised her hands, the smoke curled around the captain's leg before vanishing altogether.

Could she have...?

"Better?" she asked as if she had any idea what she had done. There was a horrifying chance she had done something awful, like turn his bones into goo or something equally terrible.