How Shadows Turn to Ash

Chapter 39: Antonia

Antonia had never camped in her life. Still, she stayed silent as she watched Viséan set up various tents for the night. It seemed precarious to Antonia, who could only imagine how easy it would be for someone to snatch them in the darkness, but Viséan hardly seemed bothered by the idea.

"I grew up in tents like these," he said, dusting himself off. "Whenever I was being evaluated, I lived in Raja, but when I wasn't, my mom and I were under the stars." He smiled a little, touching the cloth of the tent with a small smile.

Antonia tilted her head, playing with her pendant as she watched Viséan work. "I thought the Chosen Family wasn't... biologically related," she began tentatively. "But those who join are all considered related to one another, right?"

"We're adopted, yes."

"What about your mother?" she asked, tilting her head. Viséan's smile faltered. "I just... I mean, does she technically join the family too...?"

Viséan waved his hand, and Antonia's tent suddenly filled itself with bedding and other necessities. "No, but she would have been given high honors."

Would have.

Antonia thought of her family. Her heart ached. Viséan turned to leave, and Antonia called after him before she could think better of it.

"My father," she began. Viséan raised an eyebrow. But Antonia couldn't find the words she wanted to say. Emotions clutched the words in her throat, fear of something unknown dragging her voice into something even more unknown.

Luckily, Viséan seemed to understand something she didn't because he turned, dark eyes appraising.

"Your father was killed by Revolutionaries," he finished for her. Antonia nodded. Viséan pursed his lips, fingers tapping against his arm. "My mother was killed by Htraeheans."

Oh. Antonia stood there, still unsure of how to proceed.

"Why?" she asked, unable to come up with something better. By the spirits, she was terrible at this. Viséan smiled a little, probably thinking the same thing. Antonia felt her cheeks flush.

"She went to the Nameless Lands," Viséan told her. He took a step toward her, and Antonia tensed. He took a step back. "She liked to travel when I was in Raja. And one day, she ran across some Htraeheans who were trying to convince some expectant mothers to hand over their children to them to be raised in Htraeh, untouched by magic." Viséan's fingers twitched, lips curled in disdain. "My mother took issue with this. They fought. She died."

Antonia's throat tightened. "I am so-"

"Don't," Viséan said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not saying this for pity. I am saying this because the moment I was born, my mother sent me to Raja to be evaluated as the next leader. I made it through trial after trial, going between my mother to Raja without a care of what it meant. It was only after my mother's death that I understood the chance I had to one day rule. Make a difference. Protect people." He paused, swallowing. "My people," he added quietly. "I took evaluations more seriously after that."

Was that supposed to be advice? Antonia couldn't tell if he was genuinely revealing some part of his past or if this was something more calculated. Octavia had always prodded her to think critically of others' actions, but right now... she just saw a boy talking about his mother.

She took a breath and tried to think through the conversation again.

"I want the Revolutionaries gone." Viséan hummed, leaning against one of the poles holding up her tent. Stars twinkled above them, the white dots illuminating his face. "Do you want Htraeheans gone?"