Arrays of Algolagnia

Chapter 2 ...Instead of drowning in the past.

I wave bye to Jack as he backs out of my driveway. I sigh a breath of relief when I see the car is gone. excited that I beat Frank home, ive been planning our anniversary dinner for a few weeks now. thanks to jack, I was able to get him that watch he has been wanting. It's the same one jack has. It took me 3 months to save up for it and when jack last went to Italy, he was able to pick it up for me.

I rush into the house and begin to order dinner as I set out the candles and tablecloths. I undress in a rush as I slip into the shower to wash off the workday. By the time I step out of the shower, the food is here. I set our food on plates and pull out the bottle of wine. once the table is perfect, I run back to the bedroom and slip on a pretty dress and heels I bought specially for tonight.

When I'm done, I take time to admire the setup. I pull out the small, wrapped gift and set it on the table next to his plate and then I take the seat across form his and I wait.

15 minutes go by, and I call frank. No answer. another 15 minutes, I call two more times and then send a text. Nothing.

I open up the bottle of wine and by my second glass, I'm calling again. now, it's going straight to voicemail. I pour my 3 rd glass of wine in an hour and I blow out the candles. As I finish the 3rd glass, I pour a 4th, finishing the bottle. I slam the bottle on the table a little too roughly, even I flinch.

I check the time; Frank was supposed to be home by now. I swallow the entire glass of wine in one gulp and then reach over across the table and pick up his gift. I tear the wrappings off and toss them on the floor. I open the box and then throw that on the floor too. I hold the ridiculously expensive watch between my fingers as I watch the hands on the clock tick.

I pick up my phone and I call frank again. straight to voicemail so I text him asking him did he forget what today is. I'm left on delivered. I throw the watch across the room. I cant believe he would choose to do this today of all days. Feeling like a fool, I walk over to the window and stand, and I continue to wait. I was never this person. I was never the type of person to wait on a man before I met Frank. But here I am. it seems that's all I do now. wait for him to show up for me, for this marriage even for himself.

I stare off into the darkness of the empty street. There are no cars, no people, nothing. I check the time, ive been standing here for 40 minutes. Its almost 11 and he still isn't home. no call, no text, just me, here alone, in this marriage surrounded by my disappointment and grief.

I head to my bedroom and change into my pajamas. I resolve, this is just one of those nights. Hopefully whenever Frank pulls himself out of whatever hole he is in, he will come home. I turn out the lights and get into bed. once I am safe from the prying eyes of the judgmental world, I cry silently into my pillow until I fall asleep.

Groggily, I try to wake up. I can feel the bed moving, so I roll over and I'm shocked to see its frank. I check the time, it's a little past 3am. even in the dim light of the moon, I can see he's high. I roll back over and away from him. he climbs into bed with only his boxers briefs on and presses himself against me. I try to pull away form him, but he clings harder to me. he says into the back, "I'm sorry baby. Please don't be mad at me."

His words are fuzzy and delayed. Like everyone word has to be thought out and analyzed before said. I nudge him with my shoulder, and he grips me tighter. "Please baby. I forgot. But the moment I remembered, di came straight home."

"where were you? I called you."

"me and some friends were listening to some music, and we had a few drinks. I lost track of time and I'm so sorry baby."