I opened my eyes to the muffled sound of sirens around me, and a sharp pain in my side. There was this warmth coming from beside me, so I chanced turning my head to see the tour bus I was just in turned on its side and burning. The sirens were getting closer and louder, but my hearing still made them sound muffled. I slowly sat up and saw Esther doing the same. She caught sight of the bus and jumped to her feet.
"No... Nonononono..." She ran towards the bus and yelled the names of people she knew were in there with us. "Scott? Kirstie? Kate? Kevin? Av-..." She took a few steps back and started to panic. She covered her head and paced for a moment before running towards the second bus, which was in a similar situation, thanks to a drunk driver. I got to my feet and absent-mindedly walked in Esther's direction. I looked at the horrendous fire that I knew had engulfed the family I'd spent almost 4 years building and stopped when I heard Esther cry out. The bus she was by wasn't on fire, but it had flipped and no one had climbed out. Esther was clawing at the locked window, trying to pull it open, but there was no use.
"Esther."
She continued to pull and struggle until she realized it wasn't enough. She punched the window, but she was nowhere near strong enough to break it on her own. I wrapped her up in my arms and pulled her away from the window.
"Esther, you have to stop."
She simply pointed and started to cry. "S-... Scott... and Avi... They..."
"Scott?" I looked back to the window I'd just pulled Esther away from and the horrid sight of my best friend behind it. I felt sick. The food I was eating before was forcing its way out of me. I turned away from Esther and ran towards the patch of grass next to the interstate we were on. My body heaved, but nothing came out, so it tried again... and again... until it hurt me to be standing and I collapsed to my knees. My hands were shaking, my breathing was staggered, and my best friends were dead.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be. We were "On Our Way Home". This was supposed to be a happy tour. We still had shows left. I could almost feel my life shattering like the windows of the bus I was in exploding behind me. I turned around just as emergency crews arrived in various trucks and cars. Tears burned their trail down my face as I thought about the future we'd lost. The weddings and the tours... The fans and the adventures... It was all gone now. It was over.
"Why..." There was a firefighter trying to get my attention, but I couldn't focus on the words he was saying over the voices of people who had no words left to say in my ears. "Why..."
"I need you to answer my questions, please," the firefighter said as calmly as she could.
"I have nothing left."
"Are you hurt?"
"Yes."
"Where? Can you point me to it?"
I shook my head and let it fall back against the cement wall behind me. "It doesn't matter."
Esther was brought to sit by me and she clung to my side, sending a sharp pain through me, but I'd given up. I couldn't do anything but cry and feel the pain that only server to remind me I was alive, and they weren't. My voice wasn't worth being spoken if the ears I wanted to hear it were gone.
Time passed, but nothing changed. I went home to Texas and didn't speak to anyone. Esther went everywhere she could to avoid America. After a few months, and several phone changes, we lost contact and I lost hope. I hadn't sang since the accident, in fact, I'd barely spoken. I would sit in my old bedroom and stare out the window at where Scott and I used to practice for musicals together, or where Kirstie and I would do each other's hair, or where Pentatonix performed for our parents for the first time. Nothing was the same anymore. I had no support system.
After about a year of nothing, while I was sitting alone in my room, I started singing Dog Days. I'd forgotten how weak my voice had gotten and struggled to sing the higher notes, but it felt so empty without everyone else. I repeated the same part over and over again, hoping they would come in, praying they would sing with me, but there was nothing. There was nothing but a broken man's wishes falling upon dead ears and living as echoes in an empty room. I wanted nothing more than to go back and die in that truck with them, but I knew it was too late for that now. I had to find some way to move on. I needed to find something, anything, that would make this better.
"Hi, Youtube... It's... It's been a long time. I know the PTXOfficial account has been... Well... inactive would be an under statement." I took a deep breath and continued to talk into Scott's camera. "I'm... I'm doing okay, but... I-" I could feel my eyes watering. "I don't think I'm going to sing anymore. It's not the same when you're alone." I heard my voice crack and covered my mouth to silence the heavy sobs pouring from my tired face. "I'm so sorry..." I repeated the words so many times while trying to stop crying so I could finish the video. "You can stay subscribed, I guess, but there won't be anymore content from us-... From me." I was starting to cry again. "And the same foes for Superfruit. I... I can't do it without Sc-" I covered my mouth and rested my forehead on the table. Inhaling was the loudest thing I could have done. I wiped my face and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." I blew a kiss at the camera and went to say goodbye, but I knew no one would sing the harmony with me. "Bye." I turned off the camera and posted this long, and unedited video to the PTXOfficial page, as well as the Superfruit page. I didn't have the energy to record a second video. I hadn't even realized it was Tuesday. Tuesday held no meaning for me anymore. It was just another bland day, like the others.
Then, I got a phone call.
"Hello? Mitch? It's Alex..."
