*** There will be one more chapter after this one, but I think that'll be the end of it. Thank you so much for enjoying OMWH and waiting so long for it to be finished. I love you guys so much. <3 ***
I walked into the small celebration being held for the band on the anniversary of their death in the outfit I'd planned to wear in our last show on tour. Their families were decorating the front row and huddled together. Mr. Olusola along with their mom's and mine were quietly sobbing in the first row as I walked up next to them. The stage was delicately decorated in the colors that would have been on our released Original album, including a green section for me. I went down the row and hugged everyone until Connie pulled me down between her and Richard, where Scott usually sat and held on to me for quite a while. I gently rubbed her back as she sobbed on my shoulder.
The lights dimmed and a few speakers took the stage to give their regards to the families and speak about each member of the band before leaving to take their seats in the audience. A large choir took the stage and sung a few of our songs before the floor was opened for anyone who wanted to speak. I stood quickly and took the stage, much to the surprise to most of the people I was sitting near.
"Hey, guys!" I started happily. "Now, you know those four dummies wouldn't want us crying about them for an hour, but," I looked towards Scott's sister as she held his nephew Landon in her arms. "There's so much to say, and I can't guarantee dry eyes for the congregation."
We all shared in a light chuckle before I turned around to the life sized cutouts of my bandmates.
"I can remember Kevin and Avi fighting over which one of them could hold more of the rest of us on their backs and it getting out of hand and ended in most of the crew dogpiling on both of them and laughing until we couldn't breath. Or when Scott and Kirstie teamed up to surprise Avi for his birthday and ended up eating most of his cake without him when he wasn't looking. Flirting with Avi, always a plus." I leaned on the podium and shook my head towards Esther, who laughed and wiped a tear from her face. "You know, it's weird to impulsively buy birthday gifts for someone who can't open them anymore, but when you've been doing it for 12 years..." My eyes watered, but I did everything I could to hold it together. I looked up and sighed. "It's funny," I continued. "As lame as Kevin's jokes were, I never stopped laughing at them, and they were lame. Although, when he made fun of his dad, that was always funny. Oh, and my eyebrows look a mess because Kirstie was the only person I trusted with them." I rolled my eyes as the other's laughed.
Seeing all of their smiling faces as they hung on to every word I said as if I was saying something most of them didn't already know gave me confidence I hadn't felt in two years.
"You know, There's one song in particular I'm very sad we didn't finish on the album. I'd watched Scott write this whole song with tears streaming down his face while he talked about home and how much he loved Landon, even though he probably won't remember him." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "And Avi sounded so good singing it too. It was the perfect lullaby."
Suddenly, Light in the Hallway started playing through the small auditorium. I noticed very quickly that my part was the only one missing and started to sing with my friends infront of our family and friends. Landon, who had started to fidget, was entirely calmed by the song, but everyone else was brought to tears. It had been so long since I'd heard their voices I could barely keep myself together to sing along.
"You are not alone
You are Right at home
Goodnight"
Every time. I cried as I sang with a large smile on my face. Their voices were so beautiful and warm. There was so much love, even in their recording. I could remember listening to them each record and the amount of emotion Avi put into each passing note and chord written by a crying Scott as a memento for the newest member to his family. During the moment Scott and I had, when we had to leave the studio to calm down, I remembered him saying how much he loved being an uncle and how just holding Landon in his arms made him feel so loved and wanted by this tiny person who had no real reason to. He told me about how genuine and pure this simple love felt. It was something he promised to cherish and to return with all of his will and power, but all he could do now is love him through this song he wrote when the thought he'd be able to write so many more.
The song ended and the room fell silent as a few sniffled escaped the crowded room. Someone started clapping and it triggered a domino effect of applause and standing, until everyone in the room was on their feet that could be. Even when they aren't here we still get standing ovations together. I turned around again to their smiling faces and nodded before returning to my seat between Scott's parents.
I promised myself then, I would never let the voice they gave me be silenced by fear and depression. I had to make myself be heard, for me first, but for them as well. There were too many things they didn't get to say and I wanted them all to be heard.
I had to sing again.
