Hadassah

..

When we got home from the debate, I was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Before I could say anything, though, Pops looked at me, his face serious. "Hadassah, why don’t you head over to Kaesen’s house for a bit? He’s got that movie you wanted to watch."

I shrugged and grabbed my jacket, figuring something serious was going on if Pops was sending me off so quickly. Over at Kaesen's, we watched Sweeney Todd and devoured warm meat pies his mom had made. We were laughing and singing along, trying to imitate the voices, our mouths full of food, not a care in the world.
When I got back home after watching Sweeney Todd with Kaesen, the house felt... off. The lights were dim, and there was this thick, heavy silence. I didn’t even need to walk all the way in to know something wasn’t right. And then, I saw him—Dad was sitting alone in the living room, his head buried in his hands, shoulders trembling slightly. He looked so… broken. I’d never seen him like this.

My heart started pounding, and I backed away to find Pops in the kitchen. He was at the counter, but he noticed me right away.

“Pops,” I whispered, feeling like I was stepping into some fragile moment that could break apart if I said the wrong thing. “Dad’s… crying. I’ve never seen him like this.”

Pops sighed, looking at me with this careful, almost guarded expression, like he was deciding what to tell me. “Come here, Hadassah,” he said, motioning for me to sit down. His tone was so soft, way too soft, like he was talking to a little kid.

I sat down, my heart pounding even harder now. “Hadassah, your dad… he went through some really hard things when he was young. Things that... hurt him.”

I frowned, not really understanding but feeling a chill creep up my spine. “What do you mean?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. “Like, what kind of things?”

Pops took a deep breath, and I could see his jaw clench, like he was having trouble even saying the words. “When he was younger, he was sent to this place. It was supposed to be a camp for helping people, for making them… different. People thought it would ‘fix’ them, but it didn’t. They were… they hurt him there, Hadassah.”

“Fix him?” I echoed, still trying to piece together what he was saying.

“Yeah.” Pops’ voice cracked a little. “They did terrible things to try to change who he was. They tried to take control of him, to break him down, in ways that…” He trailed off, his face dark, looking like he was remembering something he’d rather forget.

It was like he was dancing around it, but I could tell there was something deeper, something darker. And I wanted to understand, I really did, but I felt like I was missing something huge. “I don’t get it, Pops,” I said, starting to get frustrated. “I’m thirteen. You don’t have to treat me like a little kid.”

Pops let out a heavy sigh and nodded. “You’re right. You’re not a little kid anymore,” he said, giving me a look that seemed both sad and proud. “What he went through, Hadassah… they made him feel powerless. They used… force to hurt him in a way that no one should ever experience. It’s the kind of hurt that leaves scars inside, scars that don’t heal easily.”

My heart twisted in my chest as the pieces started falling into place. My dad, my strong, brave dad, had gone through things I couldn’t even begin to imagine. Things that left marks he couldn’t shake, even now.

Pops’ voice softened, almost like he was talking to himself. “And sometimes, something happens that brings it all back for him. Tonight, at that debate, with all those issues… I think it brought up memories he tries so hard to forget.”

I looked up at Pops, swallowing hard. “So, when he’s crying like that…”

“It’s because he’s remembering things he’d rather leave behind,” Pops explained, his voice barely a whisper. “And sometimes, Haddie, no matter how strong we are, those memories are too big to keep in.”

I didn’t say anything else. I just nodded, my throat tight. I turned and walked back into the living room. Dad hadn’t noticed me yet—he was still sitting there, his shoulders hunched, looking smaller than I’d ever seen him.

Without thinking, I walked over and sat beside him. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I could. He looked up, surprised, his eyes red and teary.

“Thanks, Haddie,” he whispered, his voice barely holding together. “You don’t know how much this means.”

I just hugged him tighter, not saying anything. I didn’t need to. We stayed like that, just holding on, and for once, I felt like I was the one taking care of him, letting him know he wasn’t alone, letting him know I’d be there no matter what.