LOVE ME HARDER • jb

10.

"...like this force was pushing me to him and to get to know him."

-

"Why you moping around, chica?" Mandy asked, suddenly stepping way into my view of the beautiful TV that sat on a stand in front of me.

After a horrible day back at school, Mandy convinced me to come back to my house and go swimming. She said that it would clear my head from being all tensed and stressed about making an appearance back into Stratford Hall. Although that wasn't what was happening. I walked right into my house, kicked off my shoes, grabbed a bag of chips and a blanket, plopped down on the couch and started watching reruns of Degrassi.

"To be technical, I'm not moping around. I am sitting down watching TV while looking sad." I retorted back, stuffing a hand full of chips into my mouth.

"You know what I mean." She scoffed, hitting me in my shoulder as she pushed my feet off of the couch and sitting down. "Ever since we got here you've done nothing but stuff your face with chips and sigh every 30 seconds."

"I don't see what's wrong with that." I shrugged, pushing the chips to the side after feeling a bubbling sensation in my stomach.

"There is nothing wrong with that, but there's something wrong with you." She sighed. "Please tell me what's up."

Looking up at Mandy, a frown sketched across her lips as a familiar look of concern was present in her features. It wasn't that I wasn't open with her. I was just slightly scared that she would think everything racing through my mind was stupid.

"It's just..." I paused, jumbling up the words in my head and trying to figure out a good way to explain my feelings. "It's just I feel abandoned. It's not even by my father this time. I feel abandoned by two people and it's crazy because one of them I don't even really know."

"Well...I know one is Natalie and although I don't understand how you could miss someone like her, I understand." She said. "But, she'll come around. You just have to be the bigger person and apologize. It's still a mucho petty reason not to talk to you, but take your tiny body to her house and apologize."

"You're right." I slightly smiled. "Thank you."

"Anything for a friend." She said. "About the other person though...who is that?"

"If I tell you you have to promise me that you will not freak out, okay?"

"Of course." She nodded her head.

"Fine." I breathed, mentally preparing myself. "It's Justin."

"As in Bieber? That Justin?" She asked me, her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

"Yeah." I nodded my head before beginning to fiddle with my fingers.

"How did that happen? You've only chilled with him like once." She stated, causing me to sigh.

"That's the problem. I know I only did once, and I don't understand."

"Maybe you like him?" She suggested.

"That's what Cierra said too, but I didn't think it was possible. Then she started freaking out on me telling me it was possible. At the end of our conversation I realized she was right."