LOVE ME HARDER • jb

22.

"You don't belong to me."

                              •••

My heart beat rapidly against my chest as I watched as the white roses fell to the floor and Justin's figure disappear behind the door. I could feel my body begin to shake and my eyes begin to burn. I didn't know what to do. Do I just stand here or do I go chase him and tell him that I'm sorry? I couldn't. My body was frozen in place, shock taking over my body. The only thing that snapped me out of it was the sudden rush of my friends coming in the room all at once, asking questions of why Justin was here and looked hurt. Hurt? No, he couldn't be. They must have been seeing things, right?

"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered to them, one single tear spilling from my eye as I pushed out of their way, grabbing the white roses. I didn't feel the need to be antagonized by them. My heart was slowly breaking into a million pieces and all I wanted to do was run away.

I ran into the locker rooms, tears beginning to pour down my face as I reached my locker. I didn't care who was in here. I tore of the silky white robe from my naked body and put back on my loose fitting sun dress. I slipped on my sandals as best as I could, wiping, trying, to get the tears to go away.

Mandy rushed into the locker rooms as I was trying to make my way out. She gripped me by my shoulders wondering why I was crying, but I just stayed silent. I ripped her hands away from my body and ran out of the locker room, out of the spa completely, looking for any sign of Justin. With the tears still falling, my heart jumped at the sight of him hailing a cab and before I could muster any type of emotion, my feet took me to him and there I was... Standing beside him and gripping at his arm only for him to give me an emotionless look.

"Justin I-"

"No, I get it." Justin cut me off, shrugging my hand away from his arm. Did I disgust him? "You don't belong to me. You're not mine. You can do as you please, right?"

I didn't know what to say. I was taken back. My mouth formed to say some words but nothing would come out. I was being a coward. Why was he acting so calm?

"You're right..." And he was. I wasn't his and he made it very clear that I wasn't back there. But I couldn't not ask myself, why was he so angry? We were only friends with benefits. We made that agreement together.

"Then it's settled," Justin said as a cab finally approached us. He turned toward me, a frown evident. "I was only just fucking you last night. I guess that didn't mean anything to you, huh?"

With those last words, Justin shook his head and got inside the cab telling him to take him to the villa. He looked at me with so much sadness, so much hidden anger and I watched as the cabby whisked him away. Tears still spilled from my eyes as his words repeated in my mind... My heart breaking at the sight of the beautiful roses in my hands.

"Victoria!" Someone shouted from behind me, a hand being placed on my shoulder. I peered down at the hand on my shoulder and saw the long blue acrylic nails. I knew it was Mandy. "What's wrong, why are you crying?"

My heart beat against my chest, tears streaming rapidly down my face as Mandy moved to the front of me, her face falling in concern at my tears. My lip trembled as I watched her, a sob escaping my lips and she pulled me into her chest, squeezing me tight.

"I love him," Was all I could say and she squeezed me tight. "I love Justin.."

"I know babe," Mandy whispered in my ear as she stroked my back. "I know you do."