Entangled Heart

CHAPTER 8: HIDDEN EMOTIONS

SERAPHINA'S POV

Thaddeus and I started hanging out more often. Bigla bigla nalang siyang sumusulpot sa kung saan, sa canteen, sa library, even after class. At first, akala ko coincidence lang, but lately, it's been feeling different. Bigla bigla niya nalang ako dinadalhan ng mga snack or coffee, and sometimes small gifts na hindi ko naman hinihingi. Pero iniisip ko nalang na he was just being friendly.

Today was one of those days. Nasa library ako ngayon, nakaupo, pretending to study, but honestly, i was just lost in my thoughts.

"Busy ka?" Thaddeus asked, placing a cup of iced coffee on the table. "Thought you could use some break."

I looked up to him, suprised. "Thaddeus, you don't have to keep doing this, you know."

He shrugged and gave me a small smile. "I want to."

Umupo siya sa harapan ko, resting his head in the table but was still looking up to me. It was one of those looks that made me feel seen, as if he was trying to read my mind. Medyo nailang ako sa mga titig niya, but there was also warmth in his eyes that made it hard to look away. It was just silence, us looking at each other.

A while later, para bang may kinuha siya sa bulsa niya and place it on the table. It was a small box.

"I saw this while walking and thought you might like it." Sabi niya smile still plastered in his face. I opened the box, rivealing a delicate silver bracelet with a tiny heart charm.

All we could hear was the wind blowing the curtain sa bintana. It feels like it was just us. I looked at the bracelet, it was pretty. But then, i couldn't help it anymore, ano ba talaga kami? Ano ba talaga ang intensiyon niya saakin?

"Ano ba talaga 'to Thaddeus?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Why are you always around lately?"

His smile faltered, nakatitig pa 'din siya saakin. "I love being around you." Kunting sagot niya that made my heart skipped a bit.

What did he mean? Do those words means something?

He said those words casually, but the intensity of his eyes were unmistakable. "Thaddeus, bakit ka ba ganyan? Why are you acting so different lately?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice steady. "What do you really want?"

Bigla niyang inalis ang ulo niya sa table and lean closer to me, resting his elbows in the table. "I want to know what you feel about me."

"Ano?" I blinked, caught off guard by his sudden question.

"Sera, hindi ako magaling sa mga ganito, mayhap I don't even know what to say. I'm not an open person and you know that." He admitted looking at his hands. "But you make me feel things I just can't ignore."

"Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. You're a difficult person to read Thad. One minute you're cold and distant, and then the next you'd be bringing me gifts. You'd always get angry pag nandiyan si Marco, I'm confused Thad, I am so confused kung ano talaga ang pinapahiwatig mo."

He looked at me blankly, his smile fading and his expression darkened. "Do you really not know?"

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't like seeing you with Marco. It drives me crazy seeing you with him, and I don't why you can't even see that? Manhid ka ba?"

Tiningnan ko lang siya, nagpoprosiso pa din sa utak ko ang sinabi niya, hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga sinasabi niya

"Nalilito na ako Thad, why would it drive you crazy?" Nalilito kong tanong sakaniya, ba't hindi niya nalang sabihin saakin direct to the point.

"I can't believe ganito ka pala ka kamanhid, and me? Confusing you?" He scoffed, his voice rising. “You’re the one who’s making this hard, Seraphina. I’ve been trying to show you how I feel, but you act like it’s nothing.”

"How you feel?" I echoed, my heart was already racing, now i was sure of it. "You could've just said it directly Thad!"

"I thought it was already obvious!" He yelled, kitang kita ko ang frustration sa mukha niya. "The gifts! Ang mga oras na binigay ko sayo, I've been trying to make it clear."

I felt my cheeks flush. “I thought you were just being a good friend,” bulong ko sa sarili ko.

He laughed bitterly. “A good friend? Alam mo ba kong gaano kahirap tingnan ka na masaya kapag nandiyan siya? To see you laugh at his jokes while I stand there pretending it doesn’t kill me inside?”

His words stunned me into silence. I never realized he felt this way. Thaddeus was always so composed, so controlled. Seeing him like this—vulnerable and raw—was new.

"Magkaibigan lang kami ni Marco, Thad. Alam mo yan..."

“Just friends?” he repeated, stepping even closer until we were almost nose to nose. “Then why does it feel like I’m competing for your attention every single day?”

Nata-meme ako. Hindi ko alam kong ano ang isasagot ko. My mind was blank. No words would come out from my mouth anymore.

I shook my head, overwhelmed. “Hindi ko na alam Thad! I don’t know what I feel right now. You’ve been giving me mixed signals, and it’s driving me crazy too.”

His gaze softened, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek. “Seraphina, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make things hard for you. But I can’t keep pretending. I’m in love with you. And seeing you with Marco—” He paused, swallowing hard. “It scares me.”

I felt tears prickling my eyes. This was too much, too fast. “Thaddeus, I need time. I need to understand my own feelings first.”

He nodded, his thumb gently wiping a stray tear from my cheek. “I know. I’m sorry for pushing you. I just... I had to say it.”

I looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity there. “Thank you for being honest,” I said softly.

He took a deep breath, stepping back slightly. “I’ll give you space. But I just needed you to know how I feel. I couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

As he stand to leave, I stood there, my heart heavy yet strangely relieved. His confession had shaken me, but it also brought clarity to the storm of emotions swirling inside me. And as I watched him walk away, I realized something: maybe, just maybe, I had feelings for Thaddeus too. But I wasn’t ready to face them—at least, not yet.