The days following Yn’s miscarriage were silent and heavy, each one blending into the next. Summer tried to be as supportive as possible, but Yn seemed to retreat further inward with each passing hour. She spent most of her time on the couch, staring at the television without really watching, or lying in bed with the curtains drawn. The vibrant energy that usually filled their apartment had vanished, replaced with an overwhelming silence.
One morning, Summer finally decided she couldn’t keep holding back. She had given Yn space, let her process things in her own way, but she couldn’t ignore the growing ache in her own chest as she watched Yn become a shadow of herself.
Summer walked into the living room, finding Yn curled up on the couch as usual, her gaze distant and unfocused.
“Yn?” Summer’s voice was soft, but it held a gentle insistence.
Yn looked up, blinking as if she’d only just realized Summer was there. “Yeah?”
Summer came over and sat beside her, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve barely spoken to me in days. I know… I know you’re hurting, but I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Yn looked down, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket. “I’m sorry, Summer. I just… I don’t know how to talk about it. It feels like… every time I try to put it into words, it all just falls apart.”
Summer nodded, understanding but refusing to let Yn slip away. “You don’t have to find the right words, Yn. Just say whatever comes to mind. I’m here to listen, no judgment, no expectations. I just want to help.”
Yn swallowed hard, glancing over at Summer with eyes that were red and tired. “I keep replaying everything in my mind… wondering if I did something wrong. If I pushed myself too hard, or if I missed some sign. It’s like… if I could just find a reason, maybe it wouldn’t feel so… empty.”
“Oh, Yn,” Summer said, pulling her close. “This isn’t your fault. There’s nothing you could’ve done to change what happened.”
Yn rested her head on Summer’s shoulder, her voice barely a whisper. “I just don’t know how to move forward, you know? I feel stuck… like I’m here, but I’m not really here.”
Summer sighed, holding Yn tighter. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I know one thing: you’re not alone. We’ll find a way forward together.”
They sat like that for a long while, the silence now shared rather than isolating.
---
The following day, Summer encouraged Yn to get out of the apartment, hoping a change of scenery might help. They walked around their neighborhood, and though Yn was quiet, there was a small spark in her eyes. But as the days passed, the quiet moments grew again, and Yn fell back into the same pattern—barely talking, barely engaging.
One evening, as they were eating dinner, Summer set her fork down, her face filled with concern.
“Yn, this… I’m really worried about you,” she said softly. “It’s like you’re barely here with me.”
Yn looked up, her gaze unfocused. “I’m sorry, Summer. I know it’s not fair to you.”
“It’s not about me,” Summer insisted. “I just… I want you to feel like yourself again. Or at least like you’re on your way there.”
Yn gave a weak smile. “I don’t even know who I am anymore. It’s like a part of me is just… gone.”
Summer reached across the table, taking Yn’s hand. “Then let me help you find that part again, piece by piece. We don’t have to rush, and you don’t have to have it all figured out.”
Yn took a deep breath, nodding slowly. “Maybe you’re right. I just… I don’t know where to start.”
“Start with today,” Summer said, her voice warm and encouraging. “Let’s just get through today, and tomorrow we’ll tackle that day. One step at a time.”
Yn nodded again, a small flicker of determination in her eyes. “Okay… one step at a time.”
---
Later that night, as they were lying in bed, Summer decided to try a different approach. “Yn,” she whispered, “do you want to talk about the future?”
Yn turned to face her, surprised by the question. “I… I don’t know if I can.”
“It doesn’t have to be big,” Summer assured her. “Just small things. Like, is there something you’d like to do when you’re ready? Somewhere you want to go?”
Yn thought for a moment, her voice hesitant. “I guess… I’ve always wanted to go to Scotland. Just take a few days to wander around, see the countryside.”
Summer smiled. “Then we’ll go. When you’re ready, we’ll take that trip. Just you and me, no distractions.”
Yn’s lips curved into a tiny smile, a real one this time. “You’d do that?”
“Of course,” Summer replied. “Whatever you need. Scotland, or anywhere else. I’ll be right there with you.”
They lay in silence, and for the first time in days, Yn felt a glimmer of hope. The future still felt uncertain, but the idea of something to look forward to, no matter how small, eased a bit of the heaviness in her chest.
---
The next day, Yn spent a little more time out of bed, even helping Summer with breakfast. But her quiet spells still lingered, and that night, the weariness turned to something more worrying.
As they settled in to watch a movie, Yn began to feel unwell, the familiar nausea returning. She excused herself quietly and hurried to the bathroom, gripping the sink as dizziness washed over her.
When she returned to the living room, Summer’s eyes filled with concern. “Yn, are you feeling okay?”
Yn shrugged, trying to downplay it. “Probably just a bit tired. I’ll be fine.”
Summer wasn’t convinced, but she let it slide, sensing that Yn wasn’t ready to talk about her health yet. As they sat in the quiet, Summer reached for Yn’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“You know… I’m really proud of you,” she said softly. “For being here, for taking each day as it comes.”
Yn’s eyes glistened, a soft smile appearing. “I don’t feel very strong, Summer. Half the time, I feel like I’m just pretending to hold it together.”
“Then pretend,” Summer replied with a smile. “Because even when you don’t feel strong, you are. And I’ll keep reminding you of that until you believe it.”
Yn rested her head on Summer’s shoulder, feeling a warmth she hadn’t felt in days. “Thank you, Summer. For everything. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Summer kissed the top of Yn’s head. “You’d be exactly where you’re supposed to be, even if you didn’t feel it. But I’m glad I’m here, too. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
As the days continued, Yn’s silence still lingered, but now it was softer, less burdened. With Summer’s support, she was slowly finding her way back to herself. And though the journey ahead was still long, she knew that each small step would bring her closer to the light she’d almost forgotten.
