A word has slowly been etched into my brain.
I didn't even realise it,
not for the most part.
Didn't notice it's presence or
the fact it has branded me for my whole life.
But it doesn't make it any less real,
doesn't detract from the damage it caused.
Because I feel
undesireable.
I was trained to think that my chocolate colour complexion isn't something to love.
That my hair was just a mess and bothersome, something to be tamed or cut.
How fucked is that?
To teach this to children?
To think no one would actually desire me?
To think no one would like my skin?
But I understand.
After all,
who would want to crave something
that you learned to hate so
purely
and
wholly?
- j.k
