It's Christmas Time Again: A Time-Traveling TMS Holiday Extravaganza

Spring Term, 2012

"Messer Moony congratulates Mr. Lupin on his attempts to best the previous record of asking this map to reveal itself but does warn you've a long way to go young man before you outdo the previous record holder!"

"Messer Wormtail  does hope Mr. Lupin knows how to brew a proper salve as it seems he has just been badly burned."

"Messer Padfoot will be sending you the bill for his ass reconstruction surgery as you, Teddy Lupin, have caused him to have laughed his previous ass completely off."

"Messer Prongs would like to remind Mr. Lupin that this is all in good fun and not to feel too poorly about anything this Parchment says to you - we were rather large idiots when we made this spell up, I'm afraid."

I sighed heavily. Frustrated.

I was sitting on my bed in the dorm. It was a week after I'd fished the Map from the pocket in the briefcase and it was positively refusing to turn into a map. Harry had always said it was easy to do - in all his stories, all he had to do was give it a tap with his wand and tell it he was up to no good and the thing was supposed to reveal the Map but the bloody parchment hated me and no matter what kept returning cryptic or bullying messages.

"COME ON!" I grunted, whacking it with my wand. "I swear that I really am up to no good!" I tried yet again.

"Messer Moony reminds Mr. Lupin that there is quite a lot of weight in words and it is most important that one speak the phrase precisely as it is intended in order to receive the sought after result!"

"Messer Wormtail wonders if Mr. Lupin can read properly, seeing as he's got the answer directly in front of his face."

"Messer Padfoot wonders if he could sell tickets to the radical display of a temper tantrum Mr. Lupin is putting on?"

"Messer Prongs should like to know how Mr. Lupin is swearing?"

"Loudly and with many, many four letter words my Gran doesn't think I know, that's how," I snapped, chucking the parchment across my bed. I flopped back onto the mattress with a great big sigh.

HARRY I AM GOING ✨INSANE✨ - THIS MAP DOES NOT WORK!!!!
Love T. L.

I finally saw the kid from the train again on the pitch at the quidditch game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw that took place just after New Year. He had to be in at least fourth year because he was playing on the Gryffindor team, owned his own broomstick, and assisting younger players to improve their skills.

I turned to Victorie.

"Who is that playing chaser? Him, there, number twenty-eight?"

"You mean Bell?" Victorie asked.

"Yeah, who is he?"

"Dierks Bell is only the best player in the school," Violet said. "How do you not know who Dierks Bell is?"

"You go to this school, right?" joked Victorie.

"Hey don't be a brat," I said.

But for the life of me, I did not remember Dierks Bell having been on the team. But I guess being a Ravenclaw meant I wasn't privvy to all the goings on in Gryffindor house or on their quidditch team. But Violet made it sound like I had to be some kind of reclusive shut-in for not knowing who he was.

"He's sooo cute," cut in one of Victorie and Violet's older friends, a girl from second year called Basil. She had large front teeth and freckles.

"And very smart," Victorie said. "He takes special classes in magical engineering. He built a functioning sneakoscope slash clock radio out of spare bits and pieces he got out of the junk bins in the Muggle Studies corridor. The best part is: over holiday he charmed it, so the thing works. As a scope and as a radio! It's in Flitwick's classroom!"