her hollow heart

chapter 20: giving in

Lucy's POV:

It'd been three days since Dylan went missing. Three days of scouring every building, every shadowed corner. I pushed harder each day, refusing to let anyone rest, forcing myself forward, no matter how many dead ends I found. But the more we searched, the less I had to hold onto. And now, even Max was slipping away.

She caught up to me in the hallway, her eyes red and voice steady but cold. "You let him go. You let him just leave by himself."

"Max, I didn't know—"She shook her head, stepping back. "No, Lucy. You don't get it. He went because of you. Everything he does is for you. And now he's gone, because you were scared to let him fucking in, he loved you too hard, and you pushed him away, just like you do to everyone."

The words hit like a punch, and I could see the anger in her face. She'd stood by me for so long, through every battle and every hard call I'd made. But now, her gaze was distant, closed off. "Max, please, I just..." My voice cracked, and I hated how desperate I sounded. "I'm doing everything I can." But she turned on her heel, walking off without another word.

Max's POV:

I'd never felt this furious. Three days of watching Lucy run herself and everyone else into the ground, pretending she knew what was best when all she was doing was pushing him further away. I needed air, I needed space, but more than anything, I needed Dad.

I stormed through the dim hallway, hearing Lucy's voice fade behind me. She called after me, but I didn't stop. She was wrong, wrong about all of this. Dad wasn't some soldier to be thrown into the fire; he was my dad, the person who kept me going. And she just... she let him go.

Moon's POV:

By the time Lucy stumbled into the meeting room, she looked like she hadn't slept in days. She'd driven everyone to exhaustion with these relentless searches, but now, they were all drifting away from her, leaving her alone.

I caught up with her, finally finding a moment when she wasn't surrounded by the others or barking orders. "Lucy, we have to slow down. This isn't working, and you're running yourself into the ground." She didn't even look at me. "I can't slow down. He's out there, Moon." The exhaustion in her voice told me everything she wouldn't say out loud. She'd been holding the group together since the beginning, but with Dylan gone... it was like she'd lost her grip entirely.

"Lucy... maybe you need to let us help you. Not just with the searches, but with everything. We're all here because of you, but you don't have to do it all alone," I said, trying to reach whatever part of her was still listening.

She finally looked up, her eyes dull and unfocused. "What good is a leader if I can't keep my people safe?" She laughed bitterly, running a hand through her tangled hair. "I've pushed everyone away, haven't I? Max, you, Kai... even Dylan." Her voice broke on his name, and she looked away, as if saying it aloud hurt too much.

Lucy's POV:

I stared at the empty room, where once, everyone had looked to me for guidance. And now, they barely even looked at me. It was like I'd lost everyone in one terrible, unending night.

Everywhere I turned, there were shadows of the people I'd tried to protect—Max's furious words, Moon's quiet resignation, the others' silence. And I couldn't keep fighting the ghosts. I couldn't keep lying to myself. Dylan was out there, or maybe he wasn't, and I didn't even know anymore. But deep down, some part of me was ready to give up. I'd held on so tight to the idea that I could save everyone, but maybe I'd been wrong all along.

I sank to the floor, feeling the weight of every choice, I'd made pressing down on me, crushing me from the inside out.

For the first time, I couldn't see a way forward.