{Also, the YouTube video above is mine! It's a vent video I made X3}
Why am I still eating when I don't need to or deserve to.
I haven't starved myself since last year, and that fucking hurts me so much
I haven't even made myself vomit in a while, which also hurts
Also for some reason I really want to cut myself again — no more overdoses. I've already had 10 total overdoses, no more ODing for me
At least the ghosting isn't bad.. while my online acquaintances have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve it, I'm still going to ghost them
I was never a good person to begin with; at least I LOOK mentally stable. That's completely fine with me.
Also, for some reason every time something awful happens I feel like SAing myself and trafficking myself to another country.
Like regardless of anything inconvenience.. I'm ready to either hurt myself or lose myself
And at this point I despise myself so much I thought of making angst of MYSELF. Even though I might already be doing that, I don't care
Either way, I'm screwed & fucked anyway — ESPECIALLY mentally and emotionally.
