The Person I Desired to Be (On Going)

Prologue : in the Shadow of Her Name

"No one cares about someone pretending to be perfect like you. What a liar." One of them sneered, laughter ringing out sharply. "You think people are impressed by your intelligence and beauty?"

Carena stood frozen, her face pale as her chest tightened. All this time, she'd tried so hard to bury those thoughts, the gnawing suspicion that maybe—just maybe—she was unwanted.

"Look at Zariah parents, forced to raise you even when they should be busy enough with their own children. Have you never thought you're just a burden? Have you ever felt sorry for them?"

Her heart ached as memories surfaced of her endless demands when she was younger, all the things she'd asked for without knowing how much weight it placed on the family who took her in. Shame washed over her. She felt as if she had stolen affection that was never hers to claim. "Th-That's not true..." she whispered faintly.

One of them stepped closer, leaning down to stare directly into her eyes. "Think about it. If they were here... Would your parents even be proud of you?"

Carena held her breath, her chest tight with the sharp stab of loneliness that cut deeper and deeper, dragging her down like a sinking weight.

Nearby, Zariah and Kailani, who had come to fetch her, stopped dead in their tracks. With a few steps behind, Zariah was hardly able to control her rage. With her hands shaking with energy, ready to burst, she stepped forward, her eyes blazing with a bright light.

"Them again..." Her voice was a harsh whisper as Kailani drew her back. "One more word, and they will regret it." She muttered. "The regulations are what they are, Zariah. We can't be marked. Their statements are not justified, but it is not worth breaking the code for this."

They debated in low voices, but Carena could only hear the harsh words resonating in her head as their voices faded into faraway whispers. She became immobile as each tiny reverberated inside of her, getting stronger.

Though she had tried to live independently, she knew one thing: that empty feeling would never go away. Living alone, without anyone, only convinced her that she was undeserving of love or attention.

Unwilling to display weakness, she wiped away the tear that fell silently down her cheek. But beneath her lowered head, her spirit broke, shattering into glass fragments she would never be able to reassemble.