The Person I Desired to Be (On Going)

2. What You Were and What You'll Never Become

Until a sudden knock shocks Neptune, her heart racing, and for a brief moment, she considered going back to her room to hide until whatever was on the other side of the door left. But then a familiar voice cut through the silence.

"Nep... You in there?" called the voice, muffled but unmistakable.

Neptune exhaled a trembling breath, her panic subsiding as she recognized the voice—Nerei. She could almost see her leaning casually against the doorframe, waiting with her usual confidence. Nerei had always been there for her, ever since she was a child. Neptune was surprised when Nerei also chose a new name, but it seemed natural. Nerei had insisted, after all.

When she opened the door, she was met by Nerei's warm smile and her friend's eyes sparkled with that familiar, protecting energy.

"There you are.... were you going to keep me waiting forever?" Nerei teased, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

Neptune's face brightened slightly. "I... didn't expect you to arrive so suddenly," she muttered, her voice lower than normal.

"Well, you looked like you could use some company," Nerei said, entering without waiting for an invitation. "Also, you left your favorite hoodie at my apartment. I assumed you'd need it."

Neptune felt her shoulders relax as a gentle warmth filled her hand. "Thanks... I was looking for this." She said, walking back inside and putting the hoodie on her couch.

When she looked back at her friend, Neptune blinked in surprise, her gaze flicking from Nerei to the massive chocolate cake in her friend's hands. "Happy birthday!" It was extravagant, layered with a gold dusting that seemed to glow under the apartment lights. She could barely believe its grandeur. Neptune shook her head, almost in disbelief.

"I... don't need a cake," she mumbled, glancing toward the calendar by the door. It was indeed April 10th, her birthday—a date she'd lost track of in the daily blur. Somehow, it had slipped her mind entirely.

Nerei softened, her voice gentle. "Come on, Nep, it's a special day. Laome's coming too. Let's just sit together, talk, eat this cute cake. It's a treat, just for you."

Despite Neptune's usual detachment, a small ache tightened in her chest. She didn't want to feel anything today, not the weight of her birthday or the unexpected kindness in Nerei's eyes, but it was there—warm, persistent.

"Nerei, you didn't have to do this." Neptune's tone was steady, but a hint of emotion slipped through. She almost looked away, feeling exposed.

"I wanted to." Nerei's voice was unwavering, "You're my family, Neptune. I want to be here for you, and I know you'd never ask for this yourself."

Neptune stood there, a breath catching in her throat as Nerei placed the cake on the table, all polished and gold-covered, as if waiting to turn this day into something worth remembering.

After putting down the cake, Nerei's gaze wandered throughout Neptune's apartment, noticing the scattered indications of discarded test papers with immaculate grades, as if nothing she had accomplished was ever enough. But then her gaze fell on a small, almost inconspicuous collection of prescription bottles heaped in the corner, their labels distinct.

She returned to Neptune, a query in her eyes, though she scarcely whispered it. "Have you... taken them?"

Neptune glanced away, her expression bland, and gave no response. Silence blanketed the room, dense and weighty. For a minute, Nerei stood there, her usual controlled demeanor shattering slightly. She blinked hard, but just one tear slid past, leaving a single line down her cheek.